When Will I Feel Like Myself Again?
I remember, near the end of my first pregnancy, this feeling of anticipation as I looked forward to not only meeting my baby, but also to getting back to feeling like myself.
For the last 9 months I’d watched my body change as my belly grew, adjusted my diet to include more protein, iron and a daily host of supplements, and switched to an even more limited wardrobe full of stretchy pants, side-shirred shirts and flat shoes.
The thought of wearing ‘normal’ clothes again, eating sushi, being able to sit on the floor, and see my feet sounded amazing!
I just wanted to go back to feeling normal.
While I did many of those things shortly after my son was born, including enjoying sushi and a beer hours after delivery, feeling like myself again took quite a bit longer.
The Timeline
A lot of new moms are eager to know when they will find this magical moment of feeling like themselves. That’s probably why you landed on this page! You want answers.
Will it take 6 months, 12 months or 2 years?
Having a timeline helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel. To know that you only have 3 more months to go before it all “clicks” can be just the motivation you need to keep going.
But instead, you find yourself in a sometimes dark and gray in-between, moving forward day-by-day starting to question if this is how you’re going to feel indefinitely.
I wish I could give you a timeline, but you probably already know that it’s different for everyone and depends on so many different factors and circumstances. Things like birth experience, health issues or lack thereof, community and family support, sleep deprivation, and a host of other things contribute to each mom's timeline and when she will start feeling like herself again.
And the truth is, your definition of "myself" will change during this time!
Even if you get back to your old activities, your work, and your daily routines, you’ve added a completely new role to your life - that of being a mom.
For better or worse it changes you, and assuming or looking forward to getting back to someone who no longer exists could lead to disappointment.
Instead, I want to offer that you practice acceptance and getting to know and ultimately love who you are now.
It’s likely that those feelings (acceptance and knowing yourself) are what you remember when you think of ‘feeling like yourself’.
What You Can Do Now
But how do you accept and get to know this new version of yourself? What can you do?
If you're in those early stages of motherhood, or just in a season of transition, wondering how long you’ll be living in this gray and murky space between your old self and your new self, there are a few things you can do to start taking steps forward today.
Because becoming this new version of yourself, one that you accept, know, and love, won’t happen automatically. It takes thought, intention, and awareness.
One powerful coaching exercise that I recommend to new moms or moms in a season of transition is the Venn Diagram of YOU.
You can download a copy of this coaching exercise here:
In this exercise, you’ll highlight the things that you loved most about your “old” self - activities, traits, feelings, etc. Then acknowledge what is present with your current self - activities, traits, feelings, etc.
And then look for areas of overlap. What can you combine? How can you CREATE overlap? What do you want to bring forward and blend with your new situation to create a version of you that honors both parts?
These were my exact examples and words from my postpartum days and how I brought forward the parts of myself that I missed and blended them with my new reality as a first-time mom.
These were the exact examples and words from the Venn diagram I created in my postpartum days and how I brought forward the parts of myself that I missed and blended them with my new reality as a first-time mom.
It's just one step on the journey to your new normal but articulating your thoughts and getting them down on paper is a great way to bring them to the surface and commit to taking some action.
You will find yourself, or rather create yourself, slowly but surely.
And I hope that the person you find is even better than the one you so fondly remember.
Get instant access to the coaching worksheet!
If you're in the early stages of motherhood or in a season of transition, living between your old self and your new self, download the Venn Diagram of You worksheet to help you create a vision for who you are becoming.