You're Trying to Do TOO Much
Have you ever had a morning where you have a long list of to do's but you just know you're going to get it all done?
The kids slept well last night.
You had a great breakfast and 2 delicious cups of coffee.
You’re patting yourself on the back for having created your list the night before so you can hit the ground running.
Today is gonna be your day.
But suddenly (you have no idea how) it's NOON and you've only crossed two things off your list! As you look at everything that’s left you start to panic.
“What happened to all my energy and motivation from this morning?
What happened to feeling like this list was as good as done?
Where did it go wrong?”
I bet I can tell you without even looking at your list. How do I know? …
…because I used to do the same thing.
Following Through on Your Commitments
I was, and still am, great at keeping a detailed to do list with deadlines and everything in priority order. But I would consistently underestimate the amount of time that I had to actually work on those tasks and overestimate the speed at which I could do things. And I was also terrible at accounting for unexpected interruptions - colleagues, kids, work fires, phone calls, you name it!
Do you know what happens when you go a few days without crossing off all of the things on your daily to-do list?
You start to feel defeated. You start to feel frustrated and overwhelmed, or maybe some anxiety starts to set in. And you start to question yourself.
“What's wrong with me? Why can't I stick to my plan?”
And if you know that you’re not going to get to everything, why try so hard? Why not spend more time on your phone, on social media, wasting time.
This ultimately leads to you no longer believing in your ability to follow through on commitments: your commitment to exercise more, to go to bed at a reasonable time, to read that book you've been meaning to read. And when you don’t do those things, you start to feel dissatisfied with life.
It sounds dramatic
It’s true. It does sound DRAMATIC! But I see it all the time.
How you manage your time and show up each day for work, for your family, for yourself, has a huge impact across every area of your life.
breaking the habit
So, how do you break the cycle or habit of trying to do too much?
You start by estimating how long each task on your list is going to take. Simple as that.
For example, if I have five things that I want to do today. Next to each of those items on my to-do list, I would put a time.
Task #1 - 30 minutes
Task #2 - 60 minutes
Task #3 - 60 minutes
Task #4 - 90 minutes
Task #5 - 45 minutes
TOTAL = 4 hours 45 minutes
That seems doable. I've got a full day with childcare so I can focus on work. Great!
Next, I look at my calendar. It says I have 3 hours of meetings or calls - things that I'm committed to doing.
I add those together and I’m at 7 hours 45 minutes. Technically that fits, though it’s a bit tight. But I haven’t planned any time for lunch, general email replies, phone calls, or other interruptions, not mention breaks for water, going to the bathroom, stretching, etc.
Time to face the music. I’M TRYING TO DO TOO MUCH.
If i’m lucky, I’ll probably cross of 2-3 things, and the rest will transfer to tomorrow. And so on and so on.
That is where the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and “behind” begins.
stop feeling “behind”
If you start by assigning* time to each task, you can easily see if you even have space in your schedule to complete everything.
*I use the word assign on purpose. When you assign time to a task, you are in control. You’re not estimating, you are declaring. Don’t stretch tasks to fill time. Complete them in the time you assign.
If they fit, GREAT! Proceed with your day.
If they do not, it’s time to remove something from your list. Start with the lowest priority item or the things that really just busy work disguised as something productive.
Before you make your final decision, you must also make sure that you have space for interruptions, flexibility, and the things that are important to you - like eating, drinking water, taking a brain break, or checking in on your kids. Those things take time and we need to recognize that.
Right-size Your List
Wouldn't it feel better to cross off everything on your list for the day, even if that list has fewer items?
I love this strategy for forcing you to be really clear about how much time you actually have and how long it's going to take you to do everything. This comes also with a lesson in resetting your expectations. Maybe you thought that a productive person has 10 things on her to-do list, but really, that's not realistic. Maybe a to-do list with 3 or 4 things is productive for you instead. You’ll have to break the habit of adding 10 things just to add them, and seeing the time will help.
Most of us are trying to do too much, but because we’ve never put the numbers on our list, we’ve never had the proof.
So look at your to-do list, assign time to every task, and then compare that total to what you have available. And don’t forget to account for breaks and interruptions.
It’s time to right-size your to-do list.
If you start assigning time to your list, I would love to know what you learn. How do you time totals compare to what’s available? What is the right size to-do list for you? Send me an email at katelyn@themothernurture.com.
If you liked this article, you might also like…