Do you share a to-do list with your husband or partner?

You know you can't do it all, and especially not all by yourself, but sharing responsibilities can be challenging.

Where do you keep the list so everyone has access?
How much do you put on it... everything or just the shared things?
How do you divvy things up so you know who's doing what?
How do you agree on deadlines?
What if he doesn't follow through or things get dropped?

These are all valid questions and the answers are as diverse as the households.

But sometimes I think we overcomplicate things.

When someone asks me how they should share a to-do list with their husband, I ask - "how can you keep it simple?"

So in an effort to normalize how UNFANCY and SIMPLE things can be and still work, here's a snapshot of our family to-do list from last weekend:

How can you keep it simple?

Our simple family to-do list is a scap piece of paper - not perfect, but it’s a shared list that is *visible*.

Yep. There is absolutely nothing fancy about it.

It's a scrap piece of paper from the kids' art bin.

And a messy, brain-dumped list of the tasks and projects that were swimming around in my brain.

I started it on Saturday morning, left it smack dab in the middle of the kitchen island (a place we pass by hundreds of times throughout the weekend), and we both added to it as we thought of things.

At this stage in our partnership, I don't have to have an explicit conversation with my husband about what the list is and I'm grateful for that. I don't have to set the expectation that it's a shared list. He just knows.

But you could absolutely set that expectation with just a quick conversation.

"Hey babe, these are some of the things that have been on my mind that need to get done this weekend. Is there anything missing from the list? What do you want to take on? I'm going to do XYZ."

Either way, it helps shine a light on all of the things that need to get done for the house and the family. It lets my husband see what's weighing on my mind. And most times, he ends up adding things to the list that are also on his mind.

It's the equivalent of asking - "what's on your list for the weekend?" (i.e. what are your plans and expectations?)

Did we get everything done? No.

But we made significant progress and then decided how and when we would tackle the rest. Some of it can wait until next weekend. Other things will be tasks we tackle individually throughout the week. But the list is a start.

It can be a digital list, something you keep in an app or on your computer, a list on a whiteboard, or it can be a scrap piece of paper on the kitchen counter.

You're not looking for the perfect tool. You're not waiting for the perfect conversation about the bigger picture of household responsibilities and sharing the load.

You're just starting by sharing the list. By making it visible. By checking things off one at a time, as a team.

What questions do you have about making this work? About sharing the load with your partner?

How to Share Household Tasks with Your Spouse

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