Episode 14: The Hidden Cost of Indecision: How to Reclaim Your Time
ITUNES | SPOTIFY
We all know what decision fatigue is and how we should create routines, habits, and even uniforms to reduce the number of decisions we have to make. But the other piece of decision fatigue that's not talked about as much is indecision - delaying or prolonging a decision because we tell ourselves we need more time or more information. Every unmade decision is like an open loop in your brain costing you time and energy just like a nail in your tire that is slowly leaking air while you drive. The faster you can make your decision, the less air you'll leak.
Learning how to recognize indecision and having strategies to help you make faster, more confident decisions will help save you so much time, energy, and mental space. But the key is knowing which decisions to make quickly, and which decisions to take your time with. In this episode, you'll learn it all, including my five favorite hacks for getting over the indecision hump.
In this episode, you’ll learn…
00:00 Stress Less This Holiday workshop announcement
01:27 Dealing with decision fatigue
04:16 What is indecision and what does it cost you?
05:38 Recognizing how indecisiveness shows up
13:24 Strategies for making faster, more confident decisions
18:33 The key step to strong decision-making
19:27 Choosing your decisions and your strategy
20:18 Getting support with the big decisions in your life
links & resources mentioned in this episode:
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You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.
Welcome back to another episode of the podcast.
Before we jump into today's topic about indecision and decision fatigue. I wanted to remind you or let you know if you haven't already heard. About my end of year holiday planning workshop for busy working moms. It's called stress less this holiday. We are setting aside time to be proactive and intentional about the last eight weeks of the year.
Those two months when the calendar seems to be Bursting at the seams with so much, holidays, celebrations, school breaks, family get togethers, and everything in between. It's the time of year that so often leaves moms exhausted and wiped out. If you want to create a season where you can be present, enjoy, and maybe even relax a little, Come join us and spend 90 minutes to create a plan guided by your priorities and intentions for the season. That includes all the details, lists, timelines, and decisions that you need to make ahead of time so that there's no last minute scrambling, rushing around, or things falling through the cracks.
It's November 7th at 12 PM Eastern, and you can get your ticket today at the mother nurture. com forward slash holidays.
All right, I can't wait to talk to you about decision fatigue and indecision today, but first I have to say on the other side of my office door, which is where I record this podcast, is my kids play area, and there must be A train part, train track part that is being triggered by something because it's over there ding donging and making track sounds like chugga chugga sounds and it took me a minute.
Have you ever had that where toys just randomly go off and make noise even though no one is playing with them or around them at all? I'm sitting here like, what? Is that noise? But then, of course, it all comes back to me. I've heard that noise a thousand times. Anyway, I'm going to try not to be distracted by the train toys, playing, I guess, in the other room.
And so, decision fatigue. It's real. You've heard about it. So many people talk about decision fatigue. You know it. And as working moms, in particular, I know it. We make more decisions than most. This is where the advice comes in. The advice comes in to standardize things, to decide in advance, to create routines, or wear the same work uniform every day.
Everybody talks about Steve Jobs. I agree with so much of that. There are many things that I've done in my life to reduce the number of decisions that I have to make as a working mom in a dual income household with three young kids. But for this episode, I am going to trust or assume that you are familiar with some of these strategies.
And if not, let me know. Send me a DM on Instagram or an email so that I can record a follow up episode about some of my favorite ways that I've reduced decisions in my life or what I've seen my clients do. Things that I decide in advance so that I can be intentional instead of making choices by default when I am already fatigued, when my, decision reserve tank is near empty.
Actually, I want to encourage you, if you haven't already, to listen to episode 10, all about meal planning, because that is a huge one that has had quite the impact on decision fatigue for me and for so many of the women that I work with. But the other part of decision fatigue that drains time and energy, the part that I think is more sneaky, because we don't talk about it as much.
is indecision. I think of indecision being when you have a decision that needs to be made but you are not making it yet. You are delaying it, you're postponing it, you're waiting for more information, more time, more input, a conversation. But what that delayed decision actually is, is an open loop.
It's another browser tab that's open alongside a hundred other tabs in your brain, and it's draining your energy.
You might not be actively thinking about it, but it's there, leaking energy like a nail in your tire. When you learn to make faster, more confident decisions, you gain time, energy, and mental clarity back. Because here's the thing, the actual decision itself is made in an instant. You decide to do the thing.
That's made in an instant. And the faster you get to your decision, the more energy you free up. The more mental space you free up. The decision is like a patch for your tire. The air stops leaking as soon as you apply it.
Now, how do you know if this is you? How do you know if you are someone who is indecisive? Maybe you already know. Maybe that's a label that you have for yourself. Maybe that's how you describe yourself. I'm indecisive. I've heard that. I've used that a lot. Maybe you have trouble deciding what's for dinner, or you never know what to wear, or what to listen to, what brand of socks to get your kid, or whether you should go out or stay home.
That, that was me. Years ago. I remember that version of Katelyn so very well, I called myself indecisive in the same way that I called myself an introvert, or I called myself someone who was musically inclined. I was indecisive. I agonized over decisions, big and small. In fact, I want to say the first or one of the first topics that I ever brought to a life coach was my indecisiveness.
We were, I think at the time we were slowly updating our first home, I was overwhelmed by all of the decisions, paint colors, furniture, curtains, or blinds, how to arrange a room, and my homework from that coaching session Was to start practicing making faster decisions to own my decisions and learn from them, not delay them, defer them to someone else, or let them drag out.
Maybe that's you too. I still have a couple areas of my life where I know my tendency is to delay or procrastinate on making decisions. The holidays. That's actually one of mine. It's a big part of why I created stress less this holiday, my workshop, because I wanted that space and that external accountability to get ahead of my decisions, to make them in advance.
Now, if you don't label yourself as someone who is indecisive, or you don't already recognize that in yourself, it could be showing up in other ways. And here are some examples of that. When you hear someone say, or if you have heard yourself say, I don't know. If you hear the phrase, I'm not sure. Or the really sneaky one, I need to figure it out.
Those phrases all indicate that there's a decision to be made that you have not yet made. I had a client recently in session realize after I reflected it back to her that she says, I don't know all the time. And now she's working on as some of her homework to notice all of the times she says, I don't know, and start to challenge that statement.
Is that really true? You don't know? What would it take to know? I also hear I need to figure it out all the time. I need to figure it out means you're not clear on your next step. You might not even be clear on what is the decision that needs to be made. We're going to get to strategies to help you in a minute, but I just want to raise your awareness around how prevalent this is.
I want you to look for or listen for these phrases. These indicators that there is a decision here to be made, and the faster you make it, the less time and energy you'll spend in this state of indecision.
Another really helpful thing to do can be to look for themes or trends around the types of decisions that you delay, procrastinate on, or prolong.
So for me now, I know that the holidays or any of these bigger times of our life that depend on other family members, those are things that I tend to delay my decisions around. Maybe yours are food or meal related. Maybe they're shopping related. You have trouble just choosing the dress or the pair of pants.
Maybe it's decisions about how you spend your time or time with your family. Maybe there are certain work projects or clients or tasks that involve a specific colleague. Maybe it's making decisions about your home or the stuff, the things in your house. I have a friend, you know who you are if you're listening, who I admire because she makes decisions about stuff and clutter in her house every day.
So quickly, she sees a toy that her kids aren't playing with or clothes that they've outgrown or artwork that came home from school, and she immediately decides what to do with it. Most of the time, it's to pass it on. And then she just does that. She doesn't wait. She doesn't second guess herself. And I admire that so much.
I've learned a lot from watching her. And I see how little weight the stuff in her house carries. She wastes no time or energy on those things. She saves it for what's truly important to her in her life. So notice those themes or trends and get curious about them. What about those areas of life
feel hard to decide? What's important about them that it makes you want to get it right? Because that's ultimately what we're doing when we delay a decision. We want to get it right. We tell ourselves we need more time, more information, more research, more conversations.
We don't want to get it wrong. And I get it. As parents, when so many of our decisions have real impacts, there are consequences. We have our kids involved, our families involved. The stakes feel higher. We don't want to risk making a bad decision. I'm thinking of some of the big parenting decisions that have come up in my life and with my clients, , thinking about childcare, making changes to childcare, deciding if work is worth it, if you're in the right job, decisions about health and whether to go to the doctor or ride it out, decisions that will impact your kids.
I'm not saying to rush into those decisions or to make a snap decision. I'm saying, know what decisions are worth that extra time, that extra research, or that you want to sleep on, or listen to your gut, and know which decisions aren't worth all that extra time and effort, right? Which brand of socks you buy your child?
Probably not worth the energy. I keep bringing that up because that was me recently. Which show you start watching next on Netflix or Hulu or whatever? Just decide. What restaurant you choose for dinner. Just pick one. It's knowing what is worth your time and energy to take a little bit more space and time on.
And for the things that aren't going to have a huge impact for the things that aren't your top priority, like your kids or your health or your work. Okay. Make those decisions more quickly to save yourself time and energy for the things that matter.
So now that you know what you're looking for, let's talk about how you move from being someone who sits in indecision to someone who makes quick and confident decisions about the things you've decided aren't worth that extra time and energy. The short answer is practice. Practice making decisions in those areas that feel challenging.
My homework in that early coaching session where I brought my indecision to the coach was to choose the bar stools, the counter stools that I liked best for our kitchen island based on the research I'd already done. I'm sure you can imagine I'd done a lot of research, but I was still going back and forth and telling myself I wasn't sure, I didn't know which ones to choose.
No more researching. I had to trust that I had done enough and with the information I had I just needed to buy the stools and I did Then I acknowledged the decision I made. I made that decision I was able to do that You start to solidify that view of yourself to see yourself as someone who is good at making decisions.
So I want you to think about any open loops that you have in your life right now. Any decisions that you need to make or questions that you need or want to answer.
Keep one of those. Top of mind, you can use that one to practice because I want to walk you through some of my favorite strategies for getting to the point of making a decision. So you can be on the other side of the decision. The first one is to constrain. So just simply reduce the number of options.
Don't scroll to the 10th page of the Amazon search results for whatever it is you're shopping for. Trust that the most popular and best reviewed options are on the first one or two pages. Don't go past the first couple of pages and just choose from within the options that you have. The next one is to give yourself a time limit.
So give yourself a set amount of time in which to research. Five minutes, for example, to look at and choose the best Broccoli cheddar soup recipe from Pinterest. That is not a decision that deserves 30 minutes worth of research. Try one. If you don't like it, make a note of it. Try a different one the next time.
So set a time limit. The third strategy is to think about best case and worst case scenario. I think worst case scenario, we hear that one all of the time. Can you live with either? But we don't often talk about best case scenario. Our brains don't want to go there. So think about both. For my stools, for example, the worst case scenario was that I hated the ones that I ordered and I had to go through the hassle of returning them.
Or if return wasn't possible, I'd list them on, you know, a online sales site. And then I go order the next stool on my short list. Best case scenario was, I love the stools and by the end of the week we actually have counter stools to sit on and eat our breakfast. Best and worst case scenario,
can you navigate either end of the spectrum?
The next one is kind of a fun one to play with and maybe will depend on the type of decision that you're making, but if you look at the decision and ask yourself, what if they both work out? So if you're deciding between two things, what if they both work out? Which option do you want to choose? Which one sounds more fun?
Which one is just, your gut is telling you to go with that and it's just your mind going through the logistics that's getting in the way. What if they both work out? Choose the one that you want and the faster you choose the one that you want, then you can actually apply your time and energy towards solving for all of the logistical questions that maybe you have.
You can come up with a creative solution.
The last strategy is to set an external deadline. Get some accountability and commit to an end date. This is what we're doing with Stress Less this holiday. We're getting together as a group to make decisions about what events and activities we want to say yes to, who we need to buy gifts for, and what we're going to get, what meals we want to have, or what traditions we want to continue.
It is so hard to carve out time in our busy schedules. So having that external accountability of a set date and time, a ticket, and a group of working moms coming together to do the same thing. Where everyone is deciding in advance so we can be on the other side of those decisions. We're going to free up so much time and energy.
So give yourself a deadline, create some accountability. Then once you make your decision, this isn't a strategy, but this is a very key point. Once you make your decision, don't second guess it. Be done with the decision. Trust yourself. You will continue to leak time and energy just like the hole in your tire if you keep going back, if you keep researching.
I know we've all done it, right? You've, I think my husband did this recently. We purchased something and then he was still continuing to research other options. You're not committed to your decision when you're continuing to keep the door open or put one foot in the decision still. You need to decide, trust yourself, and then close the door on that decision.
You are good at making decisions and you are practicing that with every decision that you make. So you get to choose in all of this. Always, always, you get to choose, you get to change your mind, you get to make a different decision the next time. You get to choose. Which decisions are worth your time and research and conversations, and which ones aren't.
And then you get to choose the strategy that resonates with you and applies to the decision that you're making. But don't sit with an unmade decision. You may not think that it's costing you anything, but it is. Remember that a decision is made in an instant. Everything else leading up to it is not actually the decision.
So how can you shorten the timeline of the lead up?
Being on the other side of that decision is about taking action. It's moving forward and there's so much confidence on the other side.
If you want one on one support with decisions, be Big decisions like a career pivot or whether or not you want to continue working while raising your family. Or small decisions like deciding what to have for dinner. I can help. I love coaching on decisions because I truly understand what it's like to be paralyzed by indecision.
You can apply to work with me and learn more about coaching at the mother nurture. com forward slash application. And don't forget, stress less, this holiday, my 90 minute planning workshop for busy working moms is happening November 7th. You can get your ticket today at themothernurture. com forward slash holidays.
And as always, you can get all of the links and all of the other details from today's episode over at the show notes on my website, the mother nurture.
com. I hope to see you in the workshop. Let's plan the end of the year together, and I will talk with you soon. Take care.
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