Episode 24: Rethinking Resolutions as a Busy Working Mom
ITUNES | SPOTIFY
Do you find new year goal-setting to just be another thing you have to add to your already full plate? More pressure, more things to do, more areas where you could fall short or not follow through? I'd like to offer a different approach to setting resolutions for the new year. One that's more flexible, less rigid, and easier to fit into your busy, working mom schedule. Listen in to learn a new way of approaching new year resolutions and goal-setting. Plus, I'm sharing some of my own ideas for 2025 and what I'm thinking about focusing in a very realistic, and doable way. But of course, I reserve the right to change my mind, and so do you. Happy New Year!
In this episode, you’ll learn…
00:58 Reflecting on the Past Year
01:32 Different approaches to new year's resolutions
02:52 The importance of evaluating throughout the year
04:41 A softer approach to new year goals
09:45 Setting intentions and mindset shifts
14:55 Short-Term goals instead of year-long goals
20:13 My personal ideas for 2025
23:06 It's ok to change your plans
24:07 Getting support in the new year
links & resources mentioned in this episode:
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You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode
Hello, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I know this is releasing, if you're listening to this in real time, right in the thick of those two weeks of holiday break and so some of you might be very busy with kids and with family and activities and events and maybe you come back to this when things have settled down in January and you're ready to think about resolutions and New Year's goals, but maybe for some of you.
This will come at the perfect time, and you'll need that or want that opportunity to take a walk and put your earbuds in, or have a little bit of extra time folding laundry and you want to have a little bit of an escape or some time for you, or, I don't know, just to think about this topic, and so, I hope this finds you wherever you are, wherever you need it, whenever you need to listen to this.
And so, I have been thinking a lot myself, personally, about the new year. And many of my clients have as well as we think back or reflect back on all of the progress that they've made and think about where they are in relation to the goals that they had set previously in 2024 and what they're looking forward to in the new year.
I have done all sorts of things when it comes to the new year and thinking about the new year. I have. approached it as thinking about things that I want to give up. I have chosen a word of the year. I've even had a bracelet made one year with my word of the year. It was, gosh, was it two or three years ago?
I claimed the word bold for myself and had it engraved on a bracelet that I wore throughout that year. I have set some years, very specific goals that are measurable and even slotted into different months , and quarters. I have made New Year's resolutions. Funny enough, I was listening to a podcast earlier this week on resolutions and learned that resolution is actually focused more on giving up than adding something new or doing something different in your life.
So you name it, I've probably done it over the years and Several years ago, I rebelled against the whole idea of doing anything significant for the new year. I remember posting on Instagram something to the effect of, your goals, your timeline, because I don't remember what had happened that year, but it was like, I don't want to do this for January 1st.
If you are or have been a client of mine, you know that what we're doing in coaching and what you learn is about. Making continual progress. And you can start any day of the week, any time of the month, any time of the year. If there's something in your life that is ready to change, you don't have to wait.
And it doesn't have to be this grand, change that you make, this declaration, this specific goal that you set. I'm going to, I don't know, for example, go to the gym five days a week for the rest of the year. You'll be more successful in the long run if you start small. And you slowly build from there. If you want to learn more about that, listen to episode two, all about finding time for your goals.
It's a great episode on those baby steps that lead up to such amazing transformation and change. But it's really about iterating, iterating on the routines in your life. And then when you have the capacity, adding something fun, something new in, but it's also about being content with where you are. And if you're not in a season where you have the capacity to make changes, there's nothing wrong with that either.
So, yes, I do acknowledge that there's something about turning the page on a new year that sparks thoughts of, What do I want to make of this year? It does for me, too. But I want to talk about a softer way to think about the new year.
I'd love to explore with you today some options that might have you thinking about possibilities, about some dreams, and some ideas that you have. But I also want it to be balanced. Balanced with what is actually going on around January 1st. Right, if you are a parent, you are likely, at that point, coming off of the holidays, coming off of lots of time together, time spent out of your normal routines, where you're probably eating lots of sugar, or at least that's me.
You've had a calendar full of commitments and events and maybe a wallet that's feeling a little bit light. January 1st also, for many of you, I'm sure, just like for me, We'll still be in the thick of winter break. Kids will still be home. So as much as I would love for January 1st to feel like a fresh start, the reality is it will probably still feel very much like, I don't know what day it is.
I'm not sure what day it is right now, we are just living in pajamas, , relaxing, hanging out. And then, realistically again, when they are back to school, or your kids are back in childcare and you're back to work, You're going to need some time to decompress.
I think very few of us coming off of the holidays with kids feel ready to jump right in and make all of the changes or implement all of the resolutions that we set. I'm going to be honestly just remembering what it's like to get up, get everyone ready and out the door, to sit at my desk, to do my daily life again.
So let's start with this. There is no rush. There is no rush and no deadline to have any sort of intention, goals, or plans mapped out for yourself. You can take all of January if you need to. You can take all of the first quarter if you want to. There's a lot of sense in that, actually, because here, where I am in the Northern Hemisphere, it's still very much winter through the first quarter.
It is cold, it is dark, it is often snowy, and I am in peak hibernation season at that time. And so, permission to go at your own pace, to ease into things, to find the timeline that resonates with you, that feels good to you. And maybe what we can prioritize now to scratch that itch a little bit as we turn the calendar to the new year is to think about reflecting.
I think the holiday or winter break is a great time to look back through your photos from the year, to Maybe update your budget, reconcile everything now that the books have cleared, so to speak, to maybe review any stats that you've been tracking, if you've been tracking things. It's also a great time to jot down some notes on the year.
What happened this year? What happened at the holidays? How are you feeling? Take a listen to episode 17, all about how I take notes for my future self, if you want to learn more about how to do that. So just reflect and notice what comes up for you.
Are there, as you're reflecting, any ideas or areas of your life that keep popping up, that keep coming into your field of awareness, things you're thinking about or feeling pulled toward. For me, for example, travel keeps coming up. I want to bring some intentionality toward this topic and really think about the places that we want to visit as a family and as a couple and start mapping those out and saving for those.
And that keeps resurfacing for me in different ways and different conversations and so I know there's a nudge there. I also keep thinking about our home and finishing a lot of unfinished projects that we have but also updating some things that now after six years of being in this home feel like they're ready to be updated and that is feeling exciting to me.
I've not set any specific goals at this point. I probably will. But not now. Right now I am reflecting and I'm just noticing that those are two areas that are popping up for me. If you want to go beyond just gentle reflecting and noticing, I do love the idea of a general intention that gets at how you want to feel this new year.
Or maybe said another way, what you want to feel more of. Maybe this goes along with a word of the year. I think those could pair really well together if that's something you like to do. Maybe it's a thought or a phrase.
I'll give you an example. A couple of years ago, I was inspired by a poem that I read on Instagram. I don't know if I'll be able to find it again. If I do find it, I'll put it in the show notes, but no promises. And it got me thinking about the everyday things that I wanted more of in my life. The things that were so few and far between, but really were within my control to do more of.
So for example, more champagne. I love champagne, and I have since that time started keeping a bottle always chilled in the fridge to have more. For celebrations, big and small. More color in my life. That was the year, then, that I ultimately did my color analysis to know what colors look best on me, and I've had so much fun playing with color in my wardrobe and in my life.
More laughs. More spontaneous trips. More dinner parties. More romance. I could probably repurpose that same list this year and keep it somewhere as a regular reminder of how I want to feel, which ultimately all of those more things is about me feeling more joy, more connected to the people in my life, more fun and feeling loved.
This year, in addition to some of those ideas, which I honestly hadn't thought about until I hit record on this episode, but I'm also feeling pulled toward the word deepen. I'm thinking about deepening my marriage, my friendships, my relationships with my kids, and with myself. Also thinking about deepening my work, my knowledge, my, some of my processes and how I do things.
I have so many things and areas in my life where I've gotten to a really solid, steady state and now I am just thinking about what it would look like to go deeper. to go beyond the surface and really sink into a lot of things. And so that word just came to me in the last few weeks, and it keeps popping back up.
And to me, that's something that's worth paying attention to. Now, Another idea would be to think about perhaps a mindset shift that you want to consider for the new year. One of my favorite newsletters, it's written by Simi Botic. I'll put a link to her website in the show notes. I'm actually going to be, we recorded a podcast episode for her podcast, which is called Unmeasured.
It should go live in the next month. I'm so excited for that one. But she talked in her end of the year email about how her intention for this new year is to imagine the positive outcome. Instead of just thinking about worst case scenario or always being hyper vigilant, which is her tendency, she wants to consider the possibility of the best outcome potentially coming true.
So, just a shift to consider Something different from her natural tendency. Maybe for you, it's, I don't know, acknowledging the guilt that you feel when you leave your kids or put yourself first. And maybe that guilt doesn't completely go away in the new year. It's actually very normal that it's there.
But perhaps you want to consider the positive outcome as well, that you are more rested, more present, or happier to see your kids after you've had some time for you. And that's the shift that you want to remember, instead of letting the guilt override everything.
So, whether it's how you want to feel, or a word that you use to think about the different areas of your life or a mindset shift that you want, that could be enough. Even as I share these examples with you, I feel inspired.
But if you are really into goal setting, you're like, no, new year, I really want to be specific. I really want to outline for myself some things that I can do. I think that's great too. And I love that for you. And here's what I would encourage you to do. I would encourage you to make your goals shorter term.
Our lives, especially with kids, are constantly changing. I mean, think back to a year ago and how much has happened and shifted and changed for you in just 12 months.
So instead of locking in or feeling tied to goals that you set for the entire year, Maybe you start with just a brain dump of all of your ideas. This could be a list of the possibilities, the areas of your life where you might want to focus or give some attention to. I think this is a great exercise.
This is one that I take my clients through at regular intervals where we are just constantly evaluating and thinking about and just noticing, paying attention to all of the different buckets, the different facets or categories of our life, get all of those ideas out.
Maybe you do have a lot of that fresh, inspired, motivated energy with the start of the new year. That's amazing. Use that and list all of your ideas. But then, when it comes to taking action, when it comes to setting something a little bit more concrete for yourself to follow through on, start small. What makes sense to focus on this first quarter, perhaps?
My clients utilize a training that I've created for them on quarterly goals or focus areas.
12 weeks, give or take, can be a really great time. starting point. It's enough time to really make some progress on whatever it is that you're focusing on, but it's also long enough that it can absorb a week where everyone is sick, or a business trip or two, or an unexpected deadline that ends up taking over everything and consuming you.
You can make real meaningful progress on something in 12 weeks. And you can continue to work on it. If 12 weeks doesn't feel like enough, if you want to deepen it, you want to expand on it, or just practice sustaining that change for a longer period of time, that's great. But if life changes, if your circumstances change, You can re evaluate, you can pick something new, you can press pause on all of the change, and just be for a little while if that's what you need.
So instead of thinking about the year, think about the quarter. Or, think about the next couple of months. What makes sense given your life right now? What fits given your life right now? I have a client who wants to put more order into her weekly grocery shopping and meal planning, but. Her house, starting in the new year, is going to be undergoing a massive renovation, so it's not the best time for her to be thinking about meal planning.
They're going to just be surviving on whatever they can cook on a hot plate or in the microwave or take out. Right, but that idea, that pole that she has toward a potential goal or a focus on meal planning is going to go onto a list and she can revisit that in the spring once they're on the other side of this project.
Maybe you want to focus on your marriage and deepening that connection. But your partner has a ton of work travel the first couple months of the year. And so, I don't know, considering couples counseling or going through fair play or just having regular dates will be challenging. So, you leave that on the list and come back to it when you're through that season.
And maybe instead that opens up some space for you to focus on your friendships. Maybe that's what fits better in this season of life, and those friendships might be what you need while your partner is traveling so much. Just like I encourage you to get all of your tasks out onto a running list, so that you can choose from those options.
You can do the same with these potential goals, with these potential focus areas for your life.
I think the things that we are meant to focus on and work on are presented to us at the time that we need them. And so, when you're feeling drawn to something, or you're feeling less than excited about another idea, that's important to notice. Listen to that, and it will often lead you to focusing on the things that are the exact right thing to focus on in this moment.
For me, for this year, I have lots of ideas. I have lots of ideas that are going on to my brain dump list. In our home, I want to add more color, more art, and more personality. I want to take more risks with my style. In my marriage, I want to try a quarterly life planning, I don't know, retreat a day? I have no idea what it looks like, but that's what popped into my mind.
I want more fun experiences and a trip for just the two of us. With my friendships, I want to host more dinners. I want to go camping with friends and plan regular girls nights and maybe even a reading retreat. With our finances, I have some small tasks that I would love to close the loop on this year, as well as some bigger savings goals that I want to map out.
I have ideas and some clear targets that I want to achieve for my business this year. I have intentions for my kids and my parenting, intentions for how I want to deepen the progress I've made toward my health. I'm so proud of the steps, the consistent supplements, the weight training that I've done this last year, and I want to add back in a focus on my pelvic floor.
I want to recommit to my sleep and other things. There are lots of experiences I want to think about, hence that travel nudge that I've been getting lately for this year and beyond. It's all so fun to think about and exciting, and I try to remind myself that it starts with one thing. It starts with small changes, one addition or little updates.
And also that my life as it is right now is enough. These ideas are fun, but they're icing on the cake. What's most important is. Your presence in your life and being content in the here and now I find if I am too fixated on goals and intentions to forward looking that it takes me out of the moment and instead has me always striving for what's ahead.
And so the question is, can you be satisfied with where you are? Can you be present with where you are? And just enjoy the journey of the progress that you make without being tied to any particular outcome. My whole relationship , to the new year, to setting goals, intentions, or words for the year, it's always changing.
It's always changing. It's always evolving. And I reserve the right to change my mind. Not just about what I think about. New Year's goals or resolutions or intentions, but also to change my mind for whatever I decide to map out for myself this year.
And so do you. You can write a bunch of things down for January 1, and then six months later decide that those things don't matter to you anymore, or that your life has changed too much and they are no longer relevant. You made up the goals anyway, right? We create them for ourselves. Changing your mind isn't a bad thing.
It doesn't mean that you're giving up, just so long as that is your choice. That the change is your choice. That's all that matters.
I would love to hear from you on what your approach is to turning over that calendar page to the new year. Are you setting specific goals? Are you thinking about intentions? Are you claiming a word of the year
or just continuing on with life as it is without any need to change what you're already doing. Send me a message, would you? I'd love to hear from you. It's probably easiest if you send me a DM over on Instagram at lovemothernurture. I'll keep sharing my updates and any, conclusions that I come to on what I'm doing for the new year, but it's always so fascinating to see how others tackle this and also just normalizes.
How there's no right way to do this you get to do it on your timeline You get to do it in your way And you get to change your mind if you want to if you have some ideas for your first quarter intentions Or you want help figuring out? What's realistic or reasonable for you to be focusing on in this season of your life?
I would love to support you This is exactly what we'll be doing in my small group coaching program for working moms that's starting in mid January. I'll be helping you set your goals and then teaching you how to manage your time and schedule so you can make progress on those things that are important to you while still getting all of the other things done.
If you're interested or you want to learn more, you're welcome Your next step would be to fill out a quick interest form over on my website at themothernurture. com forward slash interest, and I'll be in touch with more details. As always, you can find everything that I mentioned , in the show notes at themothernurture.
com forward slash podcast. I am wishing you a happy new year, a healthy new year, and I will talk with you in the next episode. Transcribed
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