Episode 43: The Ruthless Pursuit of Joy: How One Working Mom Changed Everything

working moms pursuit of joy

ITUNES | SPOTIFY

In this heartfelt episode, my client Lisa shares her remarkable transformation going from feeling like "a robot" juggling work and childcare to becoming someone who reads 100 books a year, trains for races, and even writes for fun—all while excelling in her nonprofit career and raising two young kids.

When Lisa first joined Beyond Balance in 2022, she was drowning in the demands of a new job, new city, and parenting a baby. Fast forward to today, and despite adding another child to the mix, she's found ways to reclaim her identity beyond being just "mom" or "employee."

Lisa reveals the practical strategies that changed everything:

✔️ simplified decision-making

✔️ flexible planning systems

✔️ the powerful mindset shift of envisioning how she wants her children to remember her

Her journey proves that even in the busiest seasons of parenting, it's possible to rediscover yourself. Whether you're in the thick of newborn life or wondering if you'll ever feel like yourself again, this episode offers hope and actionable ideas for any working mom who dreams of having time for herself.

Want to make time for YOU just like Lisa?

Join Beyond Balancehttps://themothernurture.com/beyond-balance

links & resources mentioned in this episode:

  •   Hey there. I've got a quick question for you. What if there was an instruction manual that could walk you through exactly what you need to do to get things done with plenty of time? No more feeling behind on your to-do list or working extra to get caught up.

    Just a simple process that you can do no matter how busy you are or what season of working mom life you are in. Well, there's a program for that and it's called Beyond Balance. This is my 12 week long training and coaching program where I teach you the skill of prioritizing and planning so you can create more space in your working mom schedule.

    No complicated multi-step processes and no drastic changes to your life like quitting your job or outsourcing everything, just realistic strategies that really work. If you're ready to get things done while feeling more relaxed about time, you can go to themothernurture.com/beyond-balance today.

    That's themothernurture.com/beyond-balance. Alright, let's get to the show.  

    You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

      Welcome to episode 43 of the podcast. I am thrilled to bring you a really inspiring conversation today. If you feel like you never have enough time to do anything for yourself, if you have dreams of. Maybe reading more books or training for a race, taking an exercise class or a dance class or a whatever class, or just doing something.

    Anything that's totally, completely for you. You're gonna wanna listen all the way through this episode. My client, Lisa, is the perfect example of someone who went from never. Rarely doing anything for herself, partly because she felt like there was never enough time, and partly because she had a lot of guilt for even wanting to use her time in that way, to now being unrecognizable

    in all of the things that she does for herself while still also working a demanding full-time job and parenting two young boys. Lisa started her coaching journey in my group program Beyond Balance, and she actually got so much out of it that we've continued to work together in different capacities for the last two plus years.

    Her story reminds me. And I hope resonates with you as well, but it reminds me of what this is all about. To have more women in the world doing things that they love and able then in turn to show up in their lives, in their communities as parents and in their relationships in ways that, I mean, how can you even measure that impact?

    How do we even measure it? That is what we're doing here. Okay. before I get teary eyed enough for me, let's get into the episode with my client. Lisa, I hope you enjoy this conversation so much. I.

     Welcome to another episode of the podcast. I am thrilled to bring you another client conversation today, and this one is really special for me because it is a client who I was just looking up before we hit record today has been with me and we have been working together for years.

    Years and her journey though started with Beyond Balance. So in just a minute, I'm gonna have Lisa introduce herself to you, but I would love to, after we do that, share a little bit about what our timeline together has looked like. So welcome to the podcast, Lisa.

    Thank you. Thanks for having me.

    I'm so excited.

    Let's get right into it. You just wanna briefly introduce yourself, broad strokes, tell us who you are, what you do, your kids, that sort of thing.

    Yeah. Yeah. My name is Lisa. I work in nonprofit fundraising. I'm the director of institutional partnerships for a nonprofit that, provides housing for women.

    I live in Wisconsin with my husband, who also works full-time, and we have two, little boys who are two and four years old. so we're still. And daycare ages. They're both at daycare full-time. Although we are getting ready to start 4K in the fall for our oldest.

    Crazy. Oh my gosh. I remember when they were born.

    And so as I said, we've been together for quite a while. And so as we're recording this, it's April of 2025 and Lisa first joined Beyond Balance back in the winter of 2022. We continued on from there to work together one-on-one for six months, which is what I typically do with clients. And then took a hiatus as she had another baby and, came back.

    And now Lisa is a part of, for the second year in a row, one of my alumni programs that I love so much for returning clients. . Isn't that so just mind blowing to think about how many years we've worked together and all of the different iterations of goals and projects and how life has changed and seasons have changed for you.

    Yeah, I mean it's wild. You have seen me through many changes over the years.

    So I don't know if you can remember. It's asking a lot. I can sometimes barely remember what I did last weekend, but it was January, February of 2022. So your oldest was young?

    He, yeah, he wasn't even one, he was a few months away from turning one.

    Yeah. And he was in daycare and you were back at work. Do you remember what life was like for you then and what had you interested in or curious about trying coaching? This was your first time doing coaching and doing that group experience in beyond balance.

    So we had just moved, we moved the December before that, , my husband had started a new job.

    We moved to a new city. Our son hadn't been in daycare before because my husband had been home with him. So we started daycare, , we added a commute in. So it was like a huge amount of change. And I was just, I remember, you know, January in Wisconsin, it was like cold and I felt very, unmoored and

    I felt like I didn't have any capacity to do anything other than work and take care of my kid. Like I just felt like I was, I wasn't a whole person. I was just like a robot doing these, you know, two tasks basically.

    Yeah. Yeah. What were you hoping for, you know, to take a jump like that and try something new?

    What were you hoping for?

    I think I was really interested in the group at first, just to connect with some other working. Moms really like, I just didn't have, , I think especially 'cause I was living in a new city, I just didn't really have a network like that and other people that could just commiserate with like, the reality of being a working parent and having young kids.

    , and I was trying to think back. I, you said something either on Instagram or in a newsletter that was like. Imagine a future where you're able to sit down and relax or you feel like yourself or something like that. Like you said, something that just completely struck a chord for me where I was like, oh my God, is that possible?

    Like, yes, that's what I want, you know? So it was definitely a leap. I remember feeling like this is a crazy thing to do, to spend money on myself for this thing that's just like, 'cause I just want to like, it felt, like a leap, but. Yeah. It made such a difference.

    . Can we talk about, , I think I remember that email, about, sitting and relaxing, putting your feet up, or whatever that sort of vision is for you.

    Can we just talk about how maybe when you came in it was, you weren't sure? Like, is this even possible and what are you doing today? Like and I, and even what you were, I mean, you were already doing some of this. It's taken you time and slowly to add more time for yourself and things that you prioritize.

    But here you are sitting today and I know the behind the scenes of what you're doing in addition to working and caring for your kids. And can we just also acknowledge that your husband works some different hours, so there are a lot of evenings and weekends where you are. The sole, parent at home.

    What else do you do in addition to that?

    I think when I started, it felt like literally I could not imagine how to fit anything else into my life.

    It felt like a physical time restricted problem. It was like there is literally no space for me to do anything else. And I think through the group and then through coaching, I started to just reframe things. So, yeah, I mean, nothing has changed about the circumstances of my life. I still have a full-time demanding job.

    I actually have two kids now instead of one. When I started, , my husband still has the same work schedule, but I read all the time. , like I read a ton, which was one of the first goals that we really set. I was like, I just wanna figure out how to read one book, and now I read like. Two books a week. I read a book Every weekend, like the picture you painted of , you can sit down and put your feet up and be able to relax.

    , I literally do that every weekend. I sit down on the couch and read a book while my kids are playing. , I run, which is another goal that I've been working on for a while. Like I've figured out through a lot of trial and error how to make space for that, where I thought I didn't have space before.

    So. I mean, I feel like that's just the tip of the iceberg, but I definitely have through the reframe, like the mindset reframe that I think we worked on in the group and in the coaching. I've figured out how all of that does fit. Yeah,

    you are such a great example as well of the concept of layering on or

    you know that our activities compound over time, and I'm not saying that if you're listening to this, you have to be a reader, but you can find something that interests you that is maybe comparable. But reading is such a great example of. You know, to challenge that belief that I don't have time for anything else.

    And it starts with just put the book within arm's reach so that when the kids miraculously are entertained for, those five minutes before someone's crying or needs you or wants a snack or has to go to the bathroom, that you could grab the book because it's right there and read a page or two.

    And that starts to become more of a habit. And then you're finishing, you know, a couple books a month and then it compounds from there. And then you start to look around and think, well, what else could I do? I now have the proof that there is space. I can make time for these things that I love outside of what I do every day.

    And now you're running and doing other workout classes and. Doing, you know, all sorts of different things, but it all started with probably just a page here and there of reading.

    Yeah, and I think like a thing that really helped me in the beginning was I remember coming in to a coaching session with you and being like, I wanna do this, and I wanna do this, and I wanna do this.

    And I'm so overwhelmed with all these things that I could do. And you were like, you're just gonna pick one. Just pick one. don't even think about it, just pick it right now. So I picked reading and I think it really helped me to be like, this is just my choice now. If I have a little bit of space, the thing I'm gonna do for myself is read.

    I'm not trying to decide what I'm gonna do. I already decided I'm gonna read. But it has opened up, like you said, there's, I find all this space for other things now because I've learned how to do that with reading.

    Mm-hmm. We think options are a good thing and in some scenarios they are, but when you have a plate as full as you do, as I do, as so many of the women that I talk to and listeners, it's actually overwhelming to have more options and instead to make those decisions in advance so that you just have to do the thing , when the pocket of time opens and you have that minute, there is no debate.

    This is what I do.

    Mm-hmm. Yeah.

    Can you think of either along those same lines or maybe something different, but what has been maybe one of, or some of the biggest. Biggest shifts that you have made, either in just how you do daily life or how you think about your time?

    I think one thing that shifted for me pretty early on, I think it happened in that in the Beyond Balance group was, paying attention to how much energy I was putting into making decisions or decisions that I was letting drag on or that I was revisiting over and over, even . Super small things like what are we gonna have for dinner?

    I remember yours, do you remember it was about, oh, it was about pack lunches. Yeah, yeah. For daycare.

    Yeah. Yeah. So I think once my eyes started to open to that, I was like, ruthless. Like, I'm not gonna waste my mental energy on like decisions. I'm just gonna make them and be and move on. And now I'm just able to make decisions more quickly and I feel like I'm not losing all this energy into ruminating and revisiting decisions. So that was definitely a shift early on. I feel like another big turning point for me was,

    thinking about how you want your kids to look back on you when they're grown. Like what are they gonna remember about you? I think you've talked about having a memory of your mom always reading and like hiding out in the laundry room and reading. Yes.

    She would always be hunched over the dryer and you would catch her and she would jump, but she was in the middle of a book and it was like, I found you.

    There you are.

    Yeah. I, I feel like when you said that, it just was like. Lightning bolt for me, like it just was so clarifying. I immediately knew what picture of myself I wanted my kids to be carrying with them. And it's not that I always did the dishes or that I was always stressed out about work or checking emails or whatever.

    It was like I know exactly what makes me happy and what I value and what I love to do in life. And I mean, work is part of that for sure. But there's all these other things that are. Part of who I am, and I want them to see all of that. And I want them to grow up and be like, yeah, mom ran in races and yeah, she was always sitting on the couch reading a book.

    She read so much. She always dragged us to the library every weekend that's the stuff I want them to remember. And I just feel like that's always in the back of my head now. Like I'm always thinking about, , what I want them to carry with them about who I am.

    Mm-hmm. And are you that person?

    Are you creating that person or those memories for them? Do you feel like now?

    Yeah, 100%. Yeah. And I think, without all these years of working together, it would be very different. I mean,

    yeah, I'm not sure I would've gotten there, like on my own. I think I would've still really been stuck in the like. The loop and the grind that I was stuck in before.

    Mm.

    When I think about you, in addition to the decisions, the time for yourself, I also picture all of the times we've talked about the different projects and grants and things that you have on your plate and how you.

    Get those things done,

    Yeah, I mean, I think I, , it feels wild to say it, but I feel like all my planning systems feel so I.

    Solid and like effortless and I think they're in a spot where they're all, , flexible. So as things change at work or as things change at home, it's easy for me to kind of adapt and pivot. So. Mm-hmm.

    Um, I do think there was a good amount of trial and error initially defined. . Like the right systems that worked for me. I do think you harping on having the short to-do list is like, that has really been a game changer for me and I think empowered me to, be really ruthless and thinking about how I use my time, especially at work, but also, you know, in like home life and what I'm deciding I'm gonna take on and what I'm deciding just doesn't even.

    You know?

    Yeah. It's very similar to what we talked about with reading as well. Like of course there are all sorts of activities that we'd love to be doing. We'd love to be exercising more or reading or doing all these hobbies or projects around the house, but. When you are overwhelmed with lots of things on your plate, can you choose one for now?

    And I think the same has been true for you. When you come into your workday and you're managing all of these different deadlines and grants and opportunities and projects at work, there are a million things you could do. But knowing this is my choice for today or for this hour. And really integrating that way of looking at your time and choosing your priorities, I think is, I mean, I would say from my perspective, allowed you to excel in your career without getting to a point of burnout or completely frustrated by progress.

    Or lack of progress.

    Yeah. I think so many of the things that we've worked on come back to, like, I do have the ability to control how I feel in situations and I can adjust things to feel like having a to-do list with two things for the day , and doing them and doing them well feels so different.

    And I'm like. Better at my job. And I do, you know, like, it doesn't mean I'm doing less. It's like how I feel changes how I come into work, you know, and how I feel at home changes how I, you know, show up as a partner and a parent. So I think that's, I mean, it's still something I'm working on and thinking about, like, about how my thoughts affect how I feel.

    But I think that really has been, , game changer for me.

    Yeah. Yeah. Would you be willing to share like what you're working on right now, what your goals are?

    Yeah, I am. I. I casually set a goal to read a hundred books this year. I've already read 20, just casually I've read 26. I'm gonna finish two more tonight that I'm almost done with while my kids are watching a movie.

    I'm training for a race in May. I'm doing a 5K and this is the first time I've ever trained for speed. So I'm actually doing like speed workouts to try and, , have a quicker finish time. And then, . I'm working on writing, which I has totally grown out of reading a lot, like I'm writing for fun now. I maybe have an idea for a novel that I'm casually working on as well.

    Um, so yeah, those, I think those are the big ones.

    I love that. , and still continuing to do a great job at your job. You know, parenting your boys taking trips for work and for pleasure, being in your marriage, there's so much that you're doing and, oh, I'm just reading a hundred books and training for a speed race and maybe writing a novel.

    Mm-hmm. Who would've thought, yeah, I mean,

    like, yeah. the me of, four years ago or whenever it was when we started working, I like. It just, that would not have seemed possible. Like it, it just, that felt literally impossible. And I think now that I can see all the progress that we've made over the years, my brain is just like.

    What else? Like what else is possible? Anything is possible, you know, which is just such a different way to be in the world.

    Oh, I love that. You started our work together in Beyond Balance. When you just had one child, then you added a second.

    What are your thoughts on starting when you're in that baby phase or when it feels like you're sleep deprived? What has been the impact of starting this work when you did and not waiting?

    Yeah. , I am glad, I think the, like going back to work. With a baby having babies in daycare, like all of those transitions were hard for me.

    So having coaching and feeling like I was trying to take care of myself in the midst of that, I think it made a really big difference. . Who you are after you have kids is obviously just different from who you were before. But , I think I felt like myself, , more quickly. You know, like I came back to myself more quickly.

    Yeah. It's just such a great example of you can do this work really at any stage, but the sooner you do this work. The sooner you get to a place where you can say what else is possible, like I can't even, I don't even recognize myself from where I was when I started. And you're here now because you decided not to wait and to start when you did.

    And I mean, this is like from. Beginning of their lives. This is like the version of me that my kids are seeing. You know, like my littlest baby, like my whole maternity leave. He, I was just holding him and reading books the whole time. You know, like that's, those are imprinted on him, like from the very beginning.

    Oh my gosh, I love that so much. And if you're listening and your kids are older and you're feeling like, oh, I should have. You can just start where you are now. There's always room for change in parenting in our lives for ourselves. And so wherever you are, it's like no time like the present. Thank you so much for being willing to share your story, for talking about all of the fun things that you've added into your life.

    I am blown away as well as I watch you. It is always such an honor to coach you and to just hear your story again. And thinking about where you started to where you are today is just so fun.

    Yeah, same. I mean, I don't say lightly that this experience has just changed my life.

    Like it really has defined the experience of parenting and being a working parent for me. So I'm very grateful for you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

      Don't forget that enrollment four Beyond Balance. The program that Lisa started with on her coaching journey is open for enrollment only through Tuesday, April 22nd. Submit your application today so we can talk about your next steps. You can go to the mother nurture.com/interest. Again, the mother nurture.com/interest.

    Submit your application for Beyond Balance.

If you enjoyed this episode, you won’t want to miss what’s coming next! Make sure you hit the subscribe button to tune into future episodes.

If you love the Life Coach for Working Moms Podcast, I’d be so grateful if you’d rate and review it on iTunes! Simply scroll down, tap to give it a five star rating, then tap “Write a Review.” Your rating and review will help more busy working moms discover helpful episodes each week!