How To Heal Your Relationship with Time
Does the "witching hour" exist in your house?
The after-work hustle where you cram dinner, chores, and bedtime routine into a finite couple of hours?
Food is cooking on the stovetop (or microwave - no shame) and the remnants of the day are strewn across the counter. You're unloading the dishwasher one plate at a time while entertaining the baby, looking through the mail, and answering all the philosophical questions your preschooler has.
You're tired, sweating, and cursing your husband's job for keeping him late at work.
Why didn't you opt for take-out?
This time of day is physically exhausting. But it's also mentally exhausting.
Because not only are you doing all the things, you're also thinking about all the things.
You're strategizing about the next step, trying to fit all the things into the carefully planned timeline, and constantly checking the clock to make sure everyone gets to bed on time, or else you'll all fall apart!
Fast forward 20 minutes and the food is finally ready, the table is set, and you breathe a sigh of relief. Phase one complete.
“Dinner’s ready!” you call.
And your kids reply, "Wow - that was fast."
Time Just Is
Funny how you and your kids can be in the exact same situation yet have TOTALLY DIFFERENT thoughts about time.
Yours = finally
Your kids' = already?
If time is neutral - just a unit of measure, then it's how we THINK about time that gives us our feelings about it.
The Enemy of Working Moms
Almost every working mom that I talk to has a challenge that comes back to time. I hear things like…
There's not enough time.
I don’t have any time for myself.
I wish I had more time with my family.
How do I fit it all in?
I'm so overwhelmed.
They blame time for their problems. They don’t have enough of it. It goes by too quickly.
But like I said earlier, time is just a unit of measure.
It’s how you think about the time that you have that causes you to feel overwhelmed, busy, and like you never have ENOUGH.
Life-Changing Realization
I still remember what a coach said to me years ago -
You are choosing to feel overwhelmed
How dare she accuse me of that? I hated feeling overwhelmed. It felt terrible. It wasn’t my choice to have so much to do and so little time in which to do it. Why on earth would I choose to feel this way?
It took me almost a year to work through what she was trying to teach me. And now, I believe her. It’s true.
Time isn’t the reason we feel behind or overwhelmed. We are.
We're the ones who choose what we do and how we think about or approach our time.
So if you're feeling busy, overwhelmed, or like you never have enough time for the things that matter to you, it's time to really look at your time.
What are you doing with your time and how are you thinking about it?
This is one of the first things I teach you inside Beyond Balance - how to improve your relationship with time. You could be super organized and have the best planning system, but if your relationship with time is out of balance, you'll never feel the way you want to feel - relaxed, calm, in control.
One of the working moms in the most recent Beyond Balance cohort said,
"One of the biggest takeaways for me was that so much of what I've struggled with in adjusting to parenthood (and being a working parent) has come down to my mindset and perspective, and I have the power to practice a different way of thinking about things."
Enrollment will open again next month. Be the first to know by adding your name to the waitlist here.
And remember, time is not to blame. And neither are you. You’re just learning how to better appreciate your time, honor your priorities, and schedule the rest.