My contribution to our family's fall bucket list was a trip to a farm/pumpkin patch.

With all 3 kids playing soccer this season, we have very few opportunities to fit something like that in. So last Sunday, we headed to the country to visit a farm that promised fresh air, wagon rides, bluegrass music, and a corn maze.

I kid you not, as soon as we got on the highway, my youngest started complaining of a headache. So we got off on the next exit and I ran into Target to pick up some Motrin in hopes that we could still go.

Then, as we started driving on the windy, back roads, my middle started complaining about her belly hurting from car sickness.

What's next?!

Well, we made it, finally, but I'm sure you can guess where this is going...

Yes, we wandered the farm and enjoyed the activities, but with the backdrop of complaining and whining about the temperature, the bees, the food, the order in which we were doing things, and who got to be the leader through the corn maze.

Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, mother nature took pity on me, and it started to rain. We had the perfect excuse to pack up and head home.

As we were exiting the farm, I looked at my husband and said,

"I don't know why I bother planning fun activities. No one every enjoys or appreciates them. All they do is whine and complain."

His response was one where I was reminded that he is my unofficial life coach.

He said, "Maybe we need to stop doing things because we think the kids will have fun and we need to do things because we want to do them and it will be fun for us. Did you want to come or were you just doing it for them?"

That's the question.

And so I thought... And decided that I would have come out here all by myself because I wanted this.

Being on the farm, away from the city, near the animals and the fields was such a breath of fresh air.

I needed that and despite the kids and their complaining, I appreciated as much as I could.

So, with my husband's words in my head, I decided that I wasn't sorry we'd made the effort to come.

Regardless of how the kids felt or whether or not they enjoyed it, it was something I wanted to do. And that was enough.

That change in perspective didn't take away the frustration or disappointment in the way they behaved.

But it colored my memory of the day a little differently.

It helped me turn my attention to the things that I did enjoy - wandering through the corn maze, bouncing on the hard bench of the covered wagon ride, leaning against my husband's warm jacket when the breeze picked up, huddling under the barn roof when the rain started coming down, and driving through the beautiful countryside admiring all of the changing leaves.

Those things were for me.

Whether or not your kids had fun doesn't have to be the only measure for success.

Just like choosing to do something doesn't have to be only about what your kids want or will enjoy.

I've been thinking a lot lately about WHY I do the things I do.

Why do I go to my kids' soccer games, even when there are other things I could be doing?
Why do I DIY our Halloween costumes?
Why do I schedule activities like a fall festival pumpkin patch?

Sometimes the reason is because of the kids. And that's ok.

But I'm always more motivated when I can see how something will make me feel.

Just because you're a mother, doesn't mean that your needs, your joy, your fun matter less than your kids.

You get to have those things too!

And the more you can practice doing things that you choose, that you want, or that make you feel a certain way, the more you teach your kids to do the same for themselves.

There's a reason this quote is the north star for my coaching practice:

"You are the only one who can give your kids a happy mom who loves life."

It changes lives - your life, your kids' lives, the people around you, and so much more.

How to Prioritize Yourself as a Mom

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