When I decided to look for my first life coach, my goal was to be happier and be a more positive and joyful person.

More days than not, I felt sad, angry, and overwhelmed and I was tired of it.

I figured the opposite of feeling sad, angry, and overwhelmed was feeling happy, joyful, and optimistic and so I made that my goal.

But at some point over the last few years, with the help of my now life coach, I've realized that feeling happy and optimistic 365 days a year isn't what I want. And that it's not a productive goal to set in the first place.

Because that’s not life. (And it's certainly not life with kids who bring their own bad days and there's not much you can do to control that!)

And to make you believe that there's anything wrong with the experience of feeling anxious, overwhelmed, disappointed, angry, sad, embarrassed, or any other "negative" emotion, just wouldn’t be right.

Instead, I want you to experience ALL of it. The "good" and the "bad", the "positive" and "negative", the happy and the sad.

And I want you to experience it in a way that doesn’t make you feel wrong for what you feel. Because every feeling has a message.

I want you to feel conflicted about the tantrum your son is throwing because yes, it's frustrating and annoying to listen to him lose it about not getting a snack, but in doing so, he’s also showing you how much he trusts you to witness his anger and still love him regardless.

I want you to feel frustrated with your husband when he forgets about soccer practice… again. That frustration holds the possibility to fuel change in how you communicate and that can make your partnership even stronger.

I want you to sometimes feel apathetic at work so that when you learn how to create results and feel fulfilled in less-than-ideal circumstances, you’ll know that you can work anywhere and do anything.

I want you to feel lost about who you are and what you enjoy. It’s a part of your story and it’s exactly where you need to be in order to fuel the exploration that will help you figure out that you love tap dancing and baking and fantasy novels.

When I say I don’t want you to shy away from the "negative" emotions, it's because I need you to know that you'll be ok.

That experiencing pain, sorry, anxiety, and anger are NORMAL and that there’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to "fix" it or try to be "happier" or more "positive".

You just get to feel it. And then when you’re ready, you can decide what, if anything, you'd like to change.

One of the most common unrealistic expectations that I see is the expectation that we should be happy all the time.

But life just doesn't work that way.

You will continue to experience your share of “negative” emotions. As will I. And as we should.

The difference is you won’t see them as wrong.

You’ll be able to acknowledge them for what they are. Another human experience in your human life.

And with the tools and self-awareness to know exactly how to experience them, they'll just be a part of daily life, fueling as many memories and experiences and changes as the "positive" ones.

If you’re here for a 365-day-a-year-happy-ending, you’re in the wrong place.

But if you want to grow, learn, and embrace it all, this is the place for you.

My 1:1 coaching clients are doing big things in the world and experiencing frustration, anger, boredom, and a host of other "negative" emotions. The biggest difference? They're not expecting to be happy every day. They're navigating challenges and getting support through tough times, all while creating fulfilling careers, spending time with their kids, and prioritizing the hobbies and relationships that give them something to look forward to.

Don't take my word for it. Listen to one of my clients talk about how she went from being angry and frustrated with her husband and kids because she had no time for herself to regularly practicing yoga and taking tap dance classes and showing them that she's her own person with her own interests too.

It's OK to Not Be Happy All the Time

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