What to Do When You Over-Commit

We're about 4 weeks into the kids' soccer season here at the Denning house and I'm feeling like maybe we have a little too much going on. Smh.

Practices and games for 3 kids are one thing but add to it all the other spring events and activities that are popping up like weeds right now and it's a lot.

I say this every year, but the April-May timeframe can be one of the most chaotic times for working parents.

There are just SO many things happening at once!

It's incredibly easy to get swept up in the excitement of warmer weather, being with friends, celebrating end of school and everything else.

So of course, the topic of over-committing is top of mind. Maybe it is for you too.

Maybe, like me, you’re in a position where you’re already in the thick of it, wondering what you can do.

What can you do if you've already said yes, submitted the registration, or made the commitment in some shape or form?

You could change your mind.

You could back out, quit, postpone, or turn your yes into a no.

It's the most obvious answer, but one that’s actually really hard to see as an option.

But everything is changeable.

Life is about what's best for you, not everyone else.

And I get it - sometimes changing your mind is easier said than done. Especially if your kids are involved.

I could technically quit soccer this season if I really felt like it was too much, but my kids would definitely have some feelings about that.

So what do you do if backing out isn't an option?

You reset expectations.

Here's what I mean and what that's looking like for me this spring:

You say no to anything new that comes across your radar as an opportunity or invite.

For me, that was saying no to volunteering in my daughter's classroom once a week. I would LOVE to do this in the future, but for now, I've politely declined.

You accept that other projects, goals or tasks aren't going to get done right now, and you let them go or outsource them.

Our mudroom build-out is going to sit stagnant for the next month. We're not outsourcing. We're just trying to accept that it's a work in progress and we'll get back to it eventually.

You prioritize the things that give you energy in any way that you can.

I'm clinging to my morning workouts, afternoon walks, and reading a feel-good romance before I fall asleep at night. These things give me energy, help me feel grounded, and allow me to stay sane through it all.

You call a team meeting and make sure the family knows what this season is going to look like and you set the expectation that everyone has to pitch in.

My big kids know they're responsible for getting their soccer gear ready for each practice/game and putting their laundry in the machine so it's sure to get washed. My husband and I are tag-teaming transportation and we'll all spend 10 minutes before bed picking up the main floor for our sanity!

But the last, and most important thing I'm doing is taking notes.

I have a notes page on my phone where I'm jotting down "lessons learned" as we go through the end of May:

• How am I feeling throughout?

• Are there things I committed to that I could have said no to? Or wish I had said no to?

• If I were to do it again, what would I do differently?

I've put a note on my calendar for February 2024 to review my list before sign-ups and spring calendars are released. That way, next spring I have a better chance of feeling less overwhelmed and overcommitted.

As for now? I'm doing my best to accept the way things are and appreciate all of the fun we're having in the midst of the chaos!

And I’m reminding myself that I didn't do anything wrong. I'm learning. And I'm making a choice now, about how I want to experience the rest of this season.

Because I COULD quit everything. I'm choosing not to.

This perfect blend of strategy and mindset is exactly what you'll get when we coach together 1:1. You’re ready to own the choices you’ve made and appreciate what’s in front of you while putting strategies in place to make things better. I have openings for 1:1 coaching starting next month. You don't have to stay busy and overwhelmed. Schedule your consult here so you can learn more about what this work could do for you.