Episode 19: The Art of Wrapping Up Your Workday
ITUNES | SPOTIFY
If you're tired of the after-work, evening hustle feeling so exhausting as you start up your "second shift", try changing the way that you wrap up your workday. The way that you transition from work mode to mom mode has the power to positively impact your evenings and the quality time that you have with your kids. In this episode I share real-life examples and ideas of how you can intentionally close the loop on your workday whether you have 1 minute or 15. Are you ready for a smoother, more enjoyable transition into your evenings? Listen in.
In this episode, you’ll learn…
00:00 Our new family tradition
03:53 The second shift and how to make it feel better
06:49 Transitioning from work to home
10:42 Creating a work wrap-up routine
14:01 Practical tips for a smoother transition
links & resources mentioned in this episode:
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You are listening to the Life Coach for Working Moms podcast, the show where we are talking about what it actually takes to make life work as a working mom. I'm your host, Katelyn Denning, a full time working mom of three and a certified life and executive coach. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you enjoy this week's episode
Hey, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I am coming off of actually a pretty restful weekend, and I thought I would share before I get into today's topic this, new, I hate to call it a tradition because it's new, so we'll see how it sustains us moving forward, but it's been three weeks now, and I was sharing it with a neighbor last night, and she thought it was interesting, so maybe I'll share it with you all and see what you think, but, I read Earlier this month, they finished the book Hunt, Gather, Parent.
It's not new, probably familiar to you. I think it made its rounds as a somewhat popular parenting book, a way, of looking at parenting and what we can learn from other cultures around the world. Anyway, from that, And also from seeing another Instagram somewhat influencer share that she does something like this with her family, I was inspired and pitched the concept to my kids who loved it, and so for the last three weeks, what we've been doing is on Sunday evenings, which is typically the evening If you've listened to the meal planning episode here on the podcast, you know that Sundays are the day where I like to either do a recipe that is a little bit more involved or try something new because I just have a little bit more time.
I don't have the time to do that during the work week. And I asked the kids if they would like to take turns choosing the Sunday night recipe and being the head chef. And so, each of the kids now has done that. My daughter started first, then my youngest, and this past weekend my oldest. And it has been fun.
It's, I'm not gonna lie, it's work to pretend to be the sous chef and support them and help them in making food. What turned out, for example, this past weekend with my oldest to be a very complicated recipe, but we're trying new things. they're getting to sharpen their skills in the kitchen and really take ownership.
And it's been really fun and we're going to continue. So we're going to go on this rotation for any Sunday where we're home. Of course, the holidays will shift that a little bit, but, it's been really great and it's been fun to see them take on that responsibility of choosing something and, learning how to read a recipe or my youngest just following the directions, but, you know, chopping onions and garlic and cutting meat and mixing meat into meatballs or setting timers and learning how to turn on the oven and Measure spices and all of those things.
my youngest chose a picture off of Pinterest, which he described as pasta with the big chicken nugget on top. I'll let you guess what it is. Chicken parmesan, which I think is actually a great description. Pasta with a big chicken nugget on top. It was very delicious.
So DM me or message me if you want any of the recipes that my kids have tried. But anyway, I'm still smiling from the weekend and watching my oldest, choose and serve a meal for the rest of us. It's been a fun little new tradition. We're trying out if you want to give that a go with your kids. and just for reference or reminder, again, my kids are 10, seven and five.
And so it's interesting, dinner is related in a way to what we're going to talk about today, which I think of this moment in our days as one that is very small, but one that has a a downstream effect on everything else. And of course, I feel like everything we talk about here, it's all related, right?
How you do one thing transitions into the next and so on and so on. But we all know, we think about dinner, actually, it's a great transition. We all know what the second shift is. I think we all are familiar with the term, the witching hour. We know what that frantic crunch of time is that exists after work and before kid bedtime, where there are so many things that we have to fit in.
Into such a short window of time, getting home, unpacking from the day, feeding kids who are really hungry or hangry, doing a few chores to tidy up the house, maybe pack lunches for tomorrow, wash bottles, get everyone bathed, ready for bed in some way, and then actually asleep. And the piece that has such a big influence on how we experience That window of time.
is before that all happens. So right before the second shift starts right before the witching hour, right before the frantic evening hustle, it's a small part of the day, but it is how we transition from work mode to home or mom mode. What probably for you is just a few minutes.
It's how we wrap up or close out the day so that we can move on and do what's required of us in the next phase of the day. I can't help but think of bedtime routines that we have for our kids or that we create for our kids. It's this Step by step set of activities, a sequence that we do to help them transition from being awake and all of the activity and bustle of the day to being hopefully sleepy enough to actually fall asleep.
What we do is purposeful. We start to dim the lights, maybe turn on the sound machine, change clothes. Take a bath or brush teeth, right? Get a bottle or snuggle while we read books, sing a lullaby, or give goodnight hugs and kisses and tuck them in. No, I don't want to say that all nights go exactly as we want and we walk out of that room and they fall asleep, Lord knows I have gone through seasons where it's still another hour or so, before I actually feel like I'm quote unquote done,
But we have a much better chance of success, a much better chance of them actually falling asleep when we go through the steps in that routine than if we just ran upstairs or ran to their bedroom and hastily changed their clothes and dropped them into bed saying goodnight, as we peace out of their room.
And yet, that is what so many of us are doing when it's time to transition out of work mode. We're doing the equivalent of just dropping our kids in bed, turning out the light, and being like, Good night! See ya! Sleep well! We slam the laptop shut, we throw it in a bag, we grab our coat, keys, and rush out the door hoping to get the kids before it's too late.
Or if you work from home, we leave everything out on the desk. Tabs open on your computer, paper scattered across the desk, mugs everywhere, half full. At least that's what my desk looks like. I accumulate so many drink cups throughout the day. And run out to greet the kids from school or to get into the car and pick them up.
It's no wonder that that transition from one part of our day to the next feels so jarring.
There's been no care, no thought, no intention as to how we want to wrap up, let alone how we want to move forward with the rest of our day with the evening.
So it makes total sense that maybe mentally you feel like you have one foot in both worlds. Why maybe you reach for your phone regularly throughout the evening with your kids to check your email or your messages. Why you might still be thinking about your calendar or the emails that you didn't get to send today or the project that you didn't finish, doing all of that while you're making dinner or playing with your kids.
I find that I'm much less patient on these days when I've rushed through that transition and maybe you are too. When my kids interrupt my thoughts or when you can't listen to another minute of the bickering between siblings or understand why your kid could be melting down over something as small as having to put their shoes away.
We feel quick to react because we feel stretched, because we didn't get that closure. Because we're doing too much at once, I mean, well, maybe we are sometimes doing too much at once, but because mostly we're thinking about too much at once. We didn't close the open tabs from our day before we opened more new ones with the kids and the house and the dinner and the bedtime routine.
It's because of that experience. About the quality of time that we have with our kids and our family in the evening that I think everyone should consider how they wrap up their work day and what impact that has on how you show up to the rest of your day to your family. I am realistic. I know that most of us don't have time for some beautiful, peaceful, elaborate wrap up routine.
It's great if you do. I love that for you. If you have the flexibility to wrap up a little early and to do something to really process and release or decompress from your day, that's amazing. I had a client who did have that flexibility in her childcare and she was able to take about 10 minutes at the end of her day for a short walk, a short walk around the block, around the building to decompress.
She decided as a result of our coaching that yes, those were 10 minutes she could have used to already be on her way home to her kids, but that she liked the version of herself that showed up after that 10 minute walk better. That they deserved that version, rather than the one who rushed out the door, feeling the pressure or the guilt to be home for those ten minutes.
But I'm guessing for so many of you, you're on a tight schedule. You don't have a lot of time to spare between when you clock out and when you need to get kids or have dinner on the table so that you can make it to soccer or swim or whatever is going on that evening. And so I want to share a few ideas with you that you could consider.
As you think about how to more intentionally wrap up your work days, the easiest, the lowest hanging fruit, when I think of how this could look or what you could do,
if you work on a computer, it is to close all of the tabs. And actually shut down your computer, not just close the lid, actually go to the power. I don't know my terminology, right? Go to the power button and click shut down and wait for it all to shut down and the screen to go dark. Then you can close the lid if you're on a laptop,
take the time to close everything that you have open. If you're not finished with something, write that on your running to do list. See episode one. It's the power of a simple to do list. If you're not convinced about why you need to have a place to jot those things that are still open. If you want to save a link, put it in your notes app so you can easily access it tomorrow or whenever it is that you need it.
Create closure. By closing all of the windows and actually shutting down your laptop. That probably takes, what, a minute? Maybe two if you have a hundred tabs or windows open. That is not that much extra time. But for many of you, that could be all that you need. Not only are you physically closing it down, but you're mentally closing all of those windows.
Just taking that extra minute to acknowledge the things that are open, that you're now releasing, that you're closing, before shutting down, that will be huge. When I am short on time, that is my bare minimum. That is what I do. Even if I think I might get back on for a split shift later on in the evening to catch up on some more work, I can always turn my computer back on.
No problem. But I take the time to close everything down and shut down. Now, if you have another minute, if that's really quick for you, before you shut down, you could preview your calendar for the next day. Put your mind at ease. Remind it of what is coming up for the next day. That will release you from having to check your phone later in the evening to pull up your calendar.
You'll know. You could jot down any notes to your future self about what you want to remember to do tomorrow. I don't recommend planning your whole day at this transition point. I think you should do it earlier in the day if you're going to plan for tomorrow, or maybe you already have it done because you planned for the week.
This is too much of a crunch time. This is too pivotal of a moment of transition for you to be making an entire plan for your next day. But a couple of notes for your future self. That's great. That could fit here.
Maybe in addition, you also physically clean up your space, depending on what your workspace is or what you use throughout your day. Maybe you stack up some papers, clear away the dishes, like I said that I tend to accumulate when I work at home, throw away any trash. Think about how your future self will feel coming into work tomorrow to a space that's reset and what that physically does for you to signal to yourself that this part of your day is closing.
It's wrapping up, it's done.
Now, if you have a commute of any kind, whether maybe you're driving or walking to get kids like I do, instead of trying to do more during that commute, what could you do to set yourself up for the evening? that you want to have. Maybe you listen to some calming, I don't know, spa type music or soundtrack.
Maybe you listen to a meditation. Or there have been days where I really want to boost my energy. I want to bring my fun mom energy to the evening with the kids. And so I turn on some funky dance music or something that I can sing my heart out to. Too often, I think we try to cram every single minute of our day with productivity.
We try to squeeze productivity out of every last minute and we'll use that commute to do more work calls or to listen to a podcast because we feel like we should be learning something.
Can you instead take this time to set the stage or the mood for the evening that you want to have? Or can you use this time for whatever you need yourself in order to show up in the way that you want to?
Now you may chuckle as I tell you these next couple of ideas, but Trust me, I wouldn't say them if I didn't think that you, from time to time, forget to do these things too. Before you head out, either to leave the office or to go get the kids if that's your scenario, of course, everybody's situation looks a little bit different, but fill up your water bottle.
Don't be thirsty. Go to the bathroom. Nothing makes you rush through getting the kids, picking them up, or getting in the door for dinner more than having to pee. Grab a snack. These are all the same things that we do for our kids. We can do them for ourselves too.
What will make this transition, this ride, this commute more enjoyable or just take care of our basic needs?
And if you're driving with your kids or you're quote unquote commuting with your kids, do they need anything? to make it easier. They've had a long day too. The walk home from school this school year with my youngest who's in kindergarten is so much more enjoyable when he's munching on a granola bar or like a fruit leather or something than when he's hangry.
So that snack goes into his backpack in the morning. We are anticipating his needs for that transition from school to home. How can you do that for yourself?
A couple of other ideas that really have to do with moving our energy. I think of. All of this sort of frenetic energy that we compress or bottle up during our workday, especially if we've got just inundated with emails and requests or Teams or Slack messages, there's so much pressure that we feel during the day.
And if you can find a way to release that, will only make your evenings that much smoother. So if I've had a particularly stressful day, for example, I find dancing in my office to a song that really gets me moving or lying on the floor, with your legs propped up on the wall. So that your body is at a 90 degree angle hinged at the hips.
It helps to release some of that energy. Yes, it takes time, right? Maybe 60 seconds where you've got your feet propped up on the wall or two minutes of a song that gets you moving and allows you to release some of that energy. And yes, that's time I could either be on my way to get my kids or that I could be sending another email.
But what I want for my evenings is to be the calm, present parent for my kids as they come home. And in order to do that, I have to take that minute, I have to take those couple of minutes to decompress. I
I think what all of these ideas really come down to
is considering what you want your evenings to feel like. To think intentionally about how they felt in the past and what you might want to be different. Then taking small, as small as just shutting down your computer. Very realistic steps to consider that vision that you have, not trying to cram one more thing into your day and instead taking a beat, taking a minute or a few seconds to transition, to release some of that energy and to move forward in your evening, creating what it is that you want.
If you've planned your day accordingly, you've taken your time into consideration when you made your to do list, you, I, I hate to use the word should, but you should have the space for this, at the very least to close down your computer, maybe something else, or a couple of other things on top of it.
Listen to episode six is called seize the day. If you want to learn more on how to do this, how to right size your list and your plan for your day. Because yes, it, it is about your kids. It's about being present and focusing on the quality of the time that you have with them. But it's also about you and how you experience your evenings and how you want to feel.
What is it that you want to create? Once you acknowledge that focus on the small, very easy, but really impactful transition to change things.
Creating a work wrap up routine is one of the many things that I help clients with in my 90 minute planning intensive session. This session is perfect for you if you have a couple of, I'm going to say, challenge areas of your day, of your week, that you want help troubleshooting. We put our brains together to create a new schedule or new routines or a new way of approaching these areas and you walk away knowing exactly what your next steps are to start making those changes.
From morning or bedtime or exercise routines to meal planning and project management, I've coached on so many topics in these sessions and you'll be amazed at what we accomplish in just 90 minutes. . You can learn more and book your intensive, which I will throw in also makes a really great holiday gift.
If you want to suggest that or put it on your wishlist, but you can learn more on my website at themothernurture. com forward slash planning dash intensive. All right. Can't wait to hear. what you shift in your work to home transition time. And until the next episode, I hope you take care. I'll talk to you soon.
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