4 Easy Ways to Connect with Friends When Life is Too Busy
When was the last time you spent some quality time with your girlfriends?
Time with friends is a theme that's been coming up in almost all of my coaching calls lately. My clients say, “I struggle to make time for my friendships.”
It happens to me too. Weeks will go by when all I do is work, parent, and take care of the house. I spend time with my husband in the evenings because it’s convenient. He’s already there (he lives with me after all) and I don’t have to go anywhere to talk with him, watch a movie, or just hang out. But planning, coordinating schedules, and finding the energy to spend time with my girlfriends? Some weeks it just feels like TOO MUCH.
The thing is though if we don’t prioritize our friendships, months or even years could go by because we’re “too busy”. And it’s even harder If your friends are moms too. On the one hand, they get the challenge that it is to find time in the schedule, but like you, they are also parenting and working and taking care of home life making it impossible.
I’m guessing I don’t have to tell you this, but I’m going to remind you anyway. Those friendships are IMPORTANT. That connection with your girlfriends is different from any of the other relationships you have in your life. And ESPECIALLY if they are also moms. That just takes it to a whole other level. Who else is going to truly understand the daily challenges and triumphs that you have?
Let’s say you even do the work to identify the priorities in your life and you put friendships right up there at the top. You STILL might struggle to fit them into your schedule.
Maybe your kids have been non-stop sick (I'm raising my hand). Maybe you’ve been giving your all to a big project at work. Or maybe things at home are taking up all of your attention. When you have a lot going on, it’s easy to put friendships on the backburner. If they’re your friends, they'll understand. Right?
But what if maintaining that strong connection didn’t have to mean rearranging your schedule, making sure your husband is good with covering bedtime, and rallying for an evening out?
While I still encourage my clients, and myself, to schedule somewhat regular time out with girlfriends, here are 4 simple ways to stay connected even when you don’t have a ton of time.
1. USE YOUR VOICE
Texting and social media are so easy and convenient that they’ve become our default for almost all communication (email could go here too). But having a real conversation and hearing someone’s voice takes connecting to another level. So when catching each other at the same time for a phone call is too hard, why not try an app that still lets you use your voice, but on your own time?
I use Voxer with all of my clients as a way to easily send voice messages and real-time thoughts back and forth. You might prefer video and use something like Marco Polo. Or there’s even an audio record feature in the DMs of Instagram and FB Messenger. Whichever app you use, just try sending a voice message. See how nice it is to hear someone’s voice and inflection rather than just reading quick text messages.
2. WRITE SOMETHING
In the same way that using your voice creates a deeper connection, so does seeing someone’s handwriting. You can still write the message on your own time, but dropping a card in the mail to remind someone that they matter to you is such an amazing way to stay truly connected to friends.
I like to send a “just-because” card each month to a different friend. It gives me something to look forward to and I can only imagine the smile on my friends’ faces when they get a letter (not a bill) in the mail!
3. TELL SOMEONE WHEN YOU THINK OF THEM
Have you ever had someone send you a text, an email, a note to say that something they saw or heard made them think of you? It’s nice, isn’t it? People like to know when they cross your mind. There are so many times when I see an article or hear a song and it makes me think of one of my friends. When that happens, I like to let them know - as soon as it happens or shortly after. When life is really busy and full, it’s good to tell your friends that they’re still a part of your life in the things that you notice.
4. REMEMBER THE IMPORTANT DATES
As we get older and have kids, the milestones and important dates in our lives often get pushed to the backburner. That’s ok. We want to celebrate our children and their lives and they’re often too young to really understand what it means to celebrate mom’s birthday or anniversary. So other than your husband, maybe a sibling, or your parents, there’s not many who celebrate those special milestones in your own life. Hearing from a friend, receiving a surprise card or gift, or being treated to a coffee? That can just make your day.
Mark those dates on your calendar. Do something for your friends, however small, to let them know that you see them and celebrate them.
LIKING DOESN’T COUNT
Just remember, liking or commenting on someone's social media status update does not count for connecting with your friends in my book. If finding time to get together in person is just too hard right now, as it sometimes is in different seasons of motherhood, then be sure to do something more than just text. Those friendships are important and going without that type of connection can impact us in other ways and in other areas of life.
Ready to make time for friends?
Download the Working Mom’s Ultimate Guide to Getting It Done. This step-by-step process will save you time and energy, reduce decision fatigue, and make prioritizing relationships in your life easier than ever.