I am struggling with something. Maybe you can relate…

I’m struggling big time to get my toddler to eat! I know I’m not the only one with a picky eater. Some days she’s not just picky, she just won’t eat anything and it is SO frustrating.

Both my boys, the oldest and the baby, are amazing eaters. Put something in front of them and 9 times out of 10 they will eat it, or at least try it. And so I’ve been at a loss for how to handle the non-eating.

My friend recommended the Instagram account @feedinglittles for some great tips and insight on toddler eating habits. And I recently started watching their signature course - Feeding Littles: Toddlers.

I haven’t finished all of the modules yet, but I have learned so much already. The one thing that struck me as a massive lightbulb moment was this:

Our kids know what their bodies need. They know how much and what types of foods their bodies need.

As parents, we so often beat that “knowing” out of them with our constant urging, bribing, and punishments when it comes to food.

All we have to do is offer good food and then let them choose.

WOW! Why had I forgotten this?

I work so hard, as a grown woman to listen to my body, to my intuition, to my inner knowing. It’s extremely hard to tune into that voice, but here was this course on picky eating toddlers reminding me that listening isn’t a skill we have to develop. We’re BORN with it.

Our toddlers, as much as they have to learn, don’t have to learn how to listen to their bodies. And as parents, our job should be to support them in fostering that relationship with themselves.

I think back to when I was a kid. It was a different time and I highly doubt my parents had access to resources like this. And so yes, I struggle with listening to my body. Listening to my body when it comes to food, to making decisions, to taking care of myself - all of it.

That voice has been buried under all of the expectations and “shoulds” that I’ve chosen to listen to all these years.

The question that I ask myself and all of my clients, is how do we re-learn how to listen? Why should we even listen?

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

When you can listen in to yourself, you can do what you NEED.

You can rest when your body is feeling tired and stressed.
You can eat vegetables, or chocolate, or protein when your body is feeling depleted in a certain area.
You can make decisions that will be in alignment with what you need for this season.
You can say yes (or say no) to activities that will feel good and support what you’re most craving.
You can prioritize certain tasks based on your energy level that day.

When you DON’T listen to yourself, you end up pushing through and burning out. You get sick, you crash, you don’t feel well. You feel resentment, frustration, and ultimately, you struggle to enjoy your life.

If you weren’t on board the listening-to-yourself-train before, hopefully you are now!

So HOW do we start?

Well, as with most things in life, we can start by really, truly breathing.

TAKE A BREATH

Taking a few deep, slow breaths is a great way to calm yourself, to battle overwhelm, and to slow down. It’s also a great way to remind yourself to focus on your body.

The next time you’re trying to make a decision, even if it’s as small as which task do I prioritize next, take a few deep breaths and see if the answer becomes clear.
The next time you’re not sure what to eat, or if you’re even hungry, take a few deep breaths.
The next time you’re feeling burned out or stressed out, take a few deep breaths and think about what you need.

Ask yourself - How are you? What do you need?

Our brains want to answer questions. They hate it when things are left undone or unanswered. And so if you pose these questions to yourself, your mind will start to come up with answers. If you can pair these questions with some deep breaths, you’ll start to listen to your body as well as your mind.

If you journal, these are great prompts to write to.
If you do great thinking in the shower, put these on a post-it note in the bathroom so you can spend that time pondering what you need.
If you’re at a computer most of your day, you could have a reminder pop-up so that you take a couple of minutes in between projects to check in with yourself and pause for what you need.

Watch and Teach your kids

They say we teach best what we most need to learn and I do believe that. Remembering that our kids are born with the ability to listen to themselves, where do you see it show up in everyday life? Is it at the dinner table? Is it in which activities they choose for playtime?

And when they struggle, for instance at bedtime, how can we remind them that their body is telling them what they need (and hopefully it’s sleep!!)?

As you are practicing listening to your own body, share that with your kids. Let them see you or hear you as you listen to your body tell you that you need some fresh, whole food, or some rest, or some time with your family as opposed to an external obligation. They see more than they hear…

It’s Not Pointless

If you have small children, your body is probably undoubtedly telling you it is tired. You can be listening for your whole self, hear the message loud and clear, and still not be able to honor that message. The kids need you and sleep is often hard to come by.

That doesn’t mean this is a pointless exercise. It means 2 things:

1. You either need to get creative with how you honor that message

OR

2. You know that when the kids need you less, when you have more time for yourself in a few years, your ability to listen to and honor your body will be SO strong that you will be living an amazing life following your body and your intuition’s guidance. It’s still a skill worth re-learning, even if you can’t always honor the requests in this season.

In our busy lives, it’s hard to find any quiet. And harder still to hear and listen to our own voice. It’s a skill that we have to re-learn. But it’s worth the effort.