5 Working Mom Routines to Try in the New Year

So many of us are thinking about goals and visions and words-of-the-year as we enter the New Year. I know I am. But if there’s anything that I’ve learned as a parent of small children who demand a lot of my time and attention, it’s that I have to break things down into small tasks and create consistency around those for me to make any progress.

It won’t be like this forever. But for this season of my life, small wins are what I need to keep going.

As I’ve tried to slowly make progress toward simplifying my life these last few years, the thing that is most effective for me is creating a routine around whatever it is I’m trying to change. It’s along the lines of what James Clear writes about in his book “Atomic Habits”. He calls it habit stacking - where you take advantage of existing habits to create new ones by letting the existing habit be a trigger or a part of the timeline that leads to your new habit. And of course a routine is just a series of things that we do in a particular order.

One of my favorite parenting books, which I think has a lot of life lessons if you’re pursuing a life of simplicity, is Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross. There is an entire section of the book dedicated to routines and how helpful routines can be for kids. Routines help them know what to expect, when, helping to alleviate the stress of the unknown.

I think those benefits are something that we can take advantage of, as working moms, as well as our kids.

So as you’re thinking about the possibilities of the New Year - what you want to change, the new goals or habits that you want to create, try thinking about these routines as something to experiment with. For simplifying life, for alleviating stress, and for knowing what to expect.

1. Meal themes throughout the week.

I’m not asking you to commit to eating the same meal every Monday. For some of you that would be just fine, but most of us like a little variety. But meal planning is stressful enough as it is and I think we all get annoyed by the constant questions of “what’s for dinner?”. So this year, why don’t you try a theme for each night of the week. Everyone will enjoy knowing loosely what’s for dinner. The kids might even find it fun. And instead of picking from ALL the possible meal choices for that evening, you are choosing a meal within constraints. For example -

• Monday - chicken

• Tuesday - mexican

• Wednesday - soup

• Thursday - pasta

• Friday - pizza

You get to choose what chicken dish, or which soup recipe and change it up week to week, but the category is there, making life a little more simple.

2. Music for Cleaning Up

I love how @simplyonpurpose shared the trick of picking a dance song to play after dinner and that’s the cue for everyone to help clean up and pick up. It makes it fun. Loud music, everyone smiling and dancing, and it’s a trigger for kids too. When this song plays, we help pick up! The more you do it, the more it becomes a routine that’s fun and helps you get ahead on the evening chores so that after bedtime you can relax instead of picking up.

3. Movement Monday

As I’ve slowly tried to get back to regularly exercising again, my coach challenged me to start small with “movement mondays”. I love that it’s called movement because that gives me the freedom to do whatever feels good to me that day. So if I’m in need of some strength training to really challenge myself, I’ll lift some weights. If I need a sweat, I can do something cardio. If my body just needs some stretching, I’ll do a little yoga. It’s a weekly date with myself and a routine I’ve come to really enjoy. I highly recommend it!

4. Bedtime Routine

I’ve talked before about how I feel about morning routines when you have small children. It’s hard to be consistent with those if you have early risers, if you have a baby, if you just need that extra sleep! I have found bedtime routines to be a more realistic way to spend a few minutes each day focused on me and I’ve also had several clients agree. Whether it’s just 10 minutes where you stretch, meditate, journal, read, do a crossword puzzle, listen to music… it doesn’t matter what it is as long as you feel relaxed and good doing it. So try giving yourself 10 extra minutes before bed and finish off your day focused on you.

5. Monthly Date Night

I’m going to be talking more about how I plan to invest in my relationships this year, but this is one that repeatedly comes up for me and ALL of my clients. We all want to spend more time with our partners and make that relationship a priority. If your kids are small, if life feels super busy, if you’re exhausted all the time, it feels next to impossible to plan a date with your spouse. But this is a routine worth getting uncomfortable for. If you only plan one a month, that’s nothing overwhelming and still adds up to 12 dates a year. Be creative with how you handle childcare. Be flexible with whether it’s a date night, a day date, or a brunch date. Have fun with what it is that you do together. Put it in the calendar, commit to one a month, and chances are you’ll be increasing that frequency next year!

As with any changes in habit or routine, and especially when you have work and parenting to keep up with, just try one change at a time. Which one are you most excited about? What feels easiest given your life right now? Where will you see the greatest impact?

I will preach this over and over again, to you, to my clients, to myself, but it’s all about EXPERIMENTING. Nothing has to be permanent. You’re trying a new routine on for size, adjusting it, making it work for you, and then either adding something else because it’s working so well, or dropping it entirely and changing focus. That’s the fun. That’s where the progress is made.