3 Tips for Enjoying Your Family Vacation
Vacations are precious, regardless of who you are. But for working parents in particular, they hold a special weight.
They use precious time from you PTO balance. Precious resources (i.e. money). And they're meant to create precious memories with our kids that we’ll always remember.
That last one about the memories really got me into trouble a few summers ago.
If I could sum up what went wrong in one word, it would be expectations.
I used 5 days of PTO, budgeted carefully for our expenses, and knew that I wouldn’t get to spend this much quality time with my kids until the holidays at the end of the year.
I had HIGH expectations of:
how much fun we'd have,
how everyone would behave, and
how relaxed and carefree I would be.
So, when my daughter spiked a fever on the first day of our road trip, and continued to be cranky, clingy and not sleep for the first two days at the vacation house, I was cranky, frustrated and generally down about the outlook for the rest of our trip.
My expectations had been squashed.
I was angry at my daughter for getting sick.
I was angry that my ability to relax and have fun had been ruined.
And I was angry that I was so darn tired.
But the most frustrating part was, I knew I was being dramatic. I knew that it was within my control to "snap out of it" but I just couldn’t.
So on that second afternoon while my daughter was taking a much-needed nap, I pulled out my self-coaching journal and decided to address my expectations.
I started by writing down any "good" thing I could think of that I'd experienced yesterday.
As I put pen to paper, I was surprised by how much I had to write. After all, I was off work, disconnected for the most part, and with my family in a beautiful place with a beautiful view of the water (which in my opinion has the power to heal so much).
Then I gave myself permission to write down the not-so-great things about the day before. That was easy. My daughter was sick, I was grumpy, and I had made sure everyone knew how tired I was.
As I looked at the two lists, I realized that my day was a blend of both.
I realized how lucky I was to be able to be with my daughter while she wasn’t feeling well instead of having to leave her with the nanny and go to work.
I realized how fortunate I was to be able to take it easy and even nap because I was on vacation and not working.
And lastly, I realized that even a bad day isn’t so bad when you’re in a beautiful setting.
With 5 more days remaining on our vacation, I decided to lower my expectations. To be present. To help my kids have a good time, while also finding minutes here and there for myself. To let go of what I thought I should be doing and just be. To see this trip as a vacation from to-lists, from schedules and routines, from perfection, and from expectations.
Some people are great at vacation. They thrive on the change in routine, the spontaneity. They don’t over-plan or over-pack or over-prepare; they just go and trust that they will figure it out.
But I wonder if some of you, like me, have to work a bit harder to enjoy vacation. And maybe for you, there is a happy medium somewhere where you can…
1. LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Have a loose plan or guidelines for the week, but then leave plenty of room in the schedule for doing what fits with the day and your mood.
Hope for good behavior, good weather, etc. but know that it’s no guarantee. And know that how much fun you have or how “great” your vacation is, doesn’t depend on either of those things.
2. MAKE VACATION BE ABOUT YOUR KIDS AND ABOUT YOU
Plan some special surprises or outings that you know will excite your kids, but also know that you don’t have to go overboard. Being in a new place and a new environment is plenty exciting.
Make sure that there are some special things for you to look forward to also. After all, this vacation is just as much for you as it is for them.
3. REMEMBER WHAT'S IN YOUR CONTROL
Whether you’re planning, packing and getting everything “ready” or you’re actually on vacation having your expectations challenged, like me, you have the power to reset. To remind yourself that sometimes vacation is a bit of both - good and not so good. It's your choice in how you respond.
And if you need to jot things down to put it into perspective, take the time to do that.
Remember, you don’t have to "make the most" of anything or prove anything to anyone. Make your vacation yours. Make it what you want.
And most importantly, notice your expectations and ask if they are setting you up for an enjoyable time.
Ease back into work after your next vacation with…
the Working Mom’s Ultimate Guide to Getting It Done. Inside I teach you my tried-and-true process for organizing work and life tasks so you can be more efficient and less overwhelmed.