Should You Stay or Quit? A Working Mom’s Guide to Making That Decision
As a working mom, you're no stranger to the juggling act. Between managing your career, family responsibilities, and everyday life, it can feel like you’re on a constant treadmill, running but never quite getting ahead. There are days when the weight of it all feels overwhelming. Maybe you've had the thought:
"Life would be easier if I didn't work."
Maybe you’re in the thick of school closures and sick kids while emails and deadlines pile up at work. Maybe you feel like you're dropping the ball at home, relying on takeout for dinner, and watching the laundry overflow. It’s easy to fantasize about a life where you don't feel so split. Where you could focus on one area of life instead of having your attention constantly divided. A life where you didn't have to feel the stress of juggling it all.
Should you stay or should you quit?
It's a very real, very relatable struggle for many working moms. I would argue that almost every one of us has been at this crossroads at one time or another. Because it’s the question that comes up when we feel overworked, underappreciated, or just plain tired. When work becomes a burden and parenting feels like an afterthought, quitting can seem like the easiest solution. But before making any drastic decisions, it’s worth asking yourself: What do I really want?
Taking a Step Back
I’ve been there myself. As a life coach for working moms, you might think I've always had it figured out. But I considered quitting my career twice. Yes, twice. I thought that leaving my job would solve everything, especially during particularly tough weeks when I felt like I was falling short at home and work. But leaving would have meant more than just walking away from the pressure—it would have been a life-altering decision.
So, how did I make the decision to stay? To answer that, let me share a story from my childhood...
A Lesson from Childhood on Deliberate Decisions
When I was young, I took the art of coloring very seriously. I was meticulous about staying inside the lines and even used a tissue to buff my crayon coloring to a perfect shine. I even won a coloring contest where the prize was a gift card to a local department store. I knew right away what I wanted to spend it on—a Turtletots turtle. It was a stuffed animal with a zip-off shell that could double as a purse. I was obsessed.
However, my parents told me I needed to wait a week before I could buy it. Their reasoning? They wanted me to be sure that was what I really wanted. They knew that my interests changed on a whim, and they wanted me to get something I'd truly play with. So, after a week of anticipation and not wavering on what I wanted, I finally got the turtle. And I loved it for a long time!
When I was faced with the decision of whether or not to leave my career and quit my job, that stuffed turtle came to mine. In the moment of frustration, it’s tempting to act impulsively, to think that quitting is the only way out. But just like waiting for the turtle, sometimes the better option is to pause and reflect.
The Crossroads Moment: My Own Career Struggle
Fast forward to that moment when my first child was around six months old. I had a job that required frequent travel, and there was one trip in particular that filled me with dread. I was about to leave for a two-night business trip, and the thought of being away from my family, on top of dealing with the work backlog I’d face upon returning, felt unbearable. It was during this time that I thought, Maybe I should just quit.
If I quit, I wouldn't have to travel. I wouldn't have to leave my family. I wouldn't have to feel all this anxiety.
So, I started considering the financial implications of living on a single income and imagined how my life would look if I were home full-time. I even had a conversation with my husband. I shared my frustration, my desire to leave, and he asked me, Is that what you really want? It was a simple question, but it stopped me in my tracks.
Did I want to quit my job and stay home? Or did I just want to stop feeling this way?
Questions to Ask Yourself When Facing a Career Crossroads
If you’re grappling with a similar decision—whether to stay or quit—here are a few important questions you can answer to help you gain clarity:
Do you want what's on the other side of the change?
Are you looking for a new job, a different schedule, or the chance to be home more often? Or do you just want relief from how you’re feeling right now—overwhelmed, angry, or apathetic?
What do you really want?
It’s easy to focus on what you don’t want but take time to paint a picture of your ideal scenario. What does it look like? And ask yourself: Could you achieve that without making a career change?
What are the costs of this change?
Every decision has its costs. If you stay in your current situation, what does that cost you in terms of mental health, family life, or overall well-being? If you leave, what sacrifices will you make financially or emotionally?
Is it possible that you could make this change and continue to feel the same feelings?
It’s a hard question to ask, but think about it: Could making a change leave you feeling the same way you do now? Sometimes a new job or new role doesn’t solve the underlying issue and you could be right back in this same place.
Have you considered all the possible solutions?
A change doesn’t always mean quitting. Is there a way to make your current job work better for you? Could a different schedule, role, or team alleviate some of your stress without having to start over? What ideas do you have?
Trust Yourself
In the end, you can trust yourself to make the best decision with the information you have. And you don’t have to figure it out alone if you don't want to. Working with a coach can help you explore your options and make a more informed decision, whether that’s quitting, changing jobs, or finding ways to make your current situation more manageable.
Remember, everything is changeable. You’re capable of adapting, finding solutions, and making your career and family life work for you. I’ve done it myself, and I’ve helped hundreds of other working moms navigate similar crossroads. Whether you decide to stay, leave, or change things up, trust that you can make the right choice for you and your family.
At a crossroads and feeling stuck?
Coaching can help you gain clarity and take action. I encourage you to take the first step—fill out a coaching application. Together, we can create a plan for your next steps and help you navigate this season of change.