how to choose how to spend time as a working mom

As working moms, we're constantly juggling multiple roles and responsibilities. From managing household chores to meeting work deadlines, too many days it feels like there’s just not enough time to do everything we want to. The frustration of being "behind," feeling envious of others who seem to have more time, and wishing we had more time can lead to resentment toward the things we do have to do.

But what if you changed your perspective on time altogether?

The truth is, you have more control over your time than you realize. And the first step to reclaiming it is understanding that every decision we make is a choice.

The Struggle with Time

Not too long ago, I posted a photo on Instagram that captured one of those moments where I realized how much time really shapes our lives.

I had spent part of my weekend painting our mudroom (a house project I’d been meaning to tackle for ages). Of course, weekends for working moms are never just about one thing, and I also had laundry to fold, meals to prep, kids’ science fair projects to work on, and more.

But I was determined to get that paint job started. So, on Saturday I trimmed the edges and corners, and by Sunday, I had rolled on the first coat. But as is often the case these days, I was interrupted, and I had to set the project aside to handle other responsibilities.

On Tuesday night I decided to see how far I could get with a second coat. But when it was going slower than I anticipated, I was faced with a choice: Stay up late to finish trimming, so I could complete the project sooner, or go to bed, get some rest, and deal with the mess in the mudroom for a few more days.

I chose sleep.

The Power of Choice

This moment might seem small, but it highlights something important.

I could’ve chosen to stay up late and finish the job.

I could’ve prioritized getting the mudroom in order.

But instead, I chose to get the sleep I know I need, plus some quiet reading time before I turned out the lights.

By acknowledging my choice, I stopped myself from spiraling into a cycle of frustration, thinking, “I never have enough time,” or “I’m always behind.”

Instead of resenting the mess from being in the middle of a painting project or feeling guilty for not finishing the project faster, I owned the fact that I made a conscious choice.

Whether you’re scrolling through Instagram, working late, or opting for a family walk, these are all choices you're making about how you spend your time. And they, for better or worse, entirely within your control.

Another Real-Life Example

One of my clients recently had a similar breakthrough. She’s committed to working out in the mornings, but on one particular day, her body needed rest, so she chose to sleep in instead of exercising. By recognizing that she was making a choice, she freed herself from guilt and didn't beat herself up for not keeping up with her usual routine.

This is exactly the mindset shift that we all need when it comes to managing time: recognizing that we are actively making choices. Whether it's deciding how to spend your evenings, how to structure your weekends, or what projects you prioritize during the workday, every moment is a choice.

Time Tracking as a Tool for Awareness

One powerful tool to help you own your choices is time tracking. Tracking your time can open your eyes to how you’re really spending your time and help you identify patterns.

Are you spending more time than you realize scrolling through your phone?

Are there things you want to do but keep pushing aside?

The key is to notice how your choices align, or don't align, with your priorities. For example, if you want to get more sleep, do your choices—like staying up late doom scrolling—align with that goal? Or maybe you want more time with your kids, but your calendar is full of meetings, activities, or commitments. The important thing is to acknowledge that your time choices reflect your priorities, even if those priorities shift from day to day.

Owning Your Choices

Once you start recognizing the choices you’re making, you can then practice owning them. Instead of feeling like time is happening to you, you begin to feel empowered by your decisions.

Maybe you’re choosing to stay late at work because it’s important for your career or because the extra income benefits your family. Maybe you’re choosing to take that extra class even if it means less sleep.

As you begin to recognize your choices, you can see the things that "take up" your time not as burdens but as choices. You're in the driver’s seat of your own life. You can choose what you prioritize. And you can choose when you need to step back and reassess.

Living Intentionally

When you recognize your choices, you begin living more intentionally. When you’re aware that you’re spending a lot of time on your phone, you can ask yourself: Is this a choice I want to keep making? What is this decision costing me in terms of time with my kids or self-care? And if you don’t love the answer, you can choose to change it.

Living intentionally doesn’t mean being perfect or always making the “right” choice. It just means acknowledging that you have the power to steer your life in the direction you want, no matter how busy or chaotic your days might be.

One helpful phrase that I continue to remind myself of is, “There’s just time, and what we choose to do with it.”

Time doesn’t move faster or slower for anyone. It’s constant. But how we choose to spend it is up to us. And that’s where the real power lies.

If you're tired of feeling like you never have enough time or of always feeling behind, remember that the first step is to recognize your choices. From there, you can start to shape your days in a way that feels empowering and aligned with what truly matters to you.