You were a person before kids, you will be your own person when they're grown, but you're also you're own person now. What do you enjoy? What makes you smile, or sigh, or laugh, or relax? Not sure? Me either, some days.
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There is no grade for "getting it right". There is no consequence for choosing incorrectly. There is no time wasted experimenting as you figure out what's important to you. If anything, it's the best way to spend your time.
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When you’re so “busy” filling your time, wanting to “check in” by reaching for your phone, or trying to “keep up” with chores by picking up the same toys over and over again, precious time is being wasted. And you don’t even realize you’re doing it. What could you actually do with all that wasted time, to be more productive?
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If there's one thing I've learned since becoming a mom, it's that everything changes - kids, jobs, schedules, feelings. And I've also learned that I can figure most things out when they do change. So whether you decide to continue working, to change jobs, to stay home, or go part-time, you will figure it out if it's what you want.
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Productivity experts preach about the evils of multi-tasking and how it divides your attention, takes more time to switch tasks, and drains your energy faster than single-tasking. But have they ever met a working mom?!?
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Do you ever feel like you have to choose between giving your energy to work - throwing yourself into creating results, serving clients, or hitting billable hour quotas - but having nothing left for your family? Or giving your energy to your kids - thinking constantly about them and their needs, being really present and playing, or taking care of all the things for them - but having little left for the work your job requires? Break the cycle.
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Don't expect yourself to feel optimistic or capable or grateful if that's not true in this moment. Give your mind something to focus on, distract it if you must, and let your body process everything else.
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If “the unknowns” have you worried, here's what I'm trying so that I can take care of myself and my family. Things that are helping me to manage things. Not to eliminate the stress, the anxiety, or the worry (I'll be honest, I don't know if that's possible), but to help me keep some perspective.
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As working moms, we need to make more decisions in advance so we're not faced with decision fatigue at the end of the day. We need rhythms for our families that everyone understands so we're not the gatekeeper of information. And we need to know that we have the time and space to take care of ourselves and even have a little fun along the way.
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Let go of the idea that journaling is a beautifully perfect experience and write for the feeling you'll have after you've written.
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As your kids grow and age and start to see you as an individual and not just as "mom", who will they see? Have you thought about how you’re bridging the gap between who you are today and who you want your kids to remember? It can be emotional, but it’s so vitally important.
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Switching your energy and focus to productive work can be trying when you have been dealing with the demands of your children. Often, time carved out for work is the only alone time you have in your day - so you find yourself checking out a bit before jumping into productivity. You end up frustrated with yourself because you’ve lost valuable time aimlessly scrolling the internet or socials. Try these actionable steps to make the transition easier.
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