As mothers, especially those that are working, it’s easy to get caught in a cycle of obligation, martyrdom and overwhelm. Are we leading our children down the same path? How can we help lead them in breaking that cycle?
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The stereotype tells us that it’s normal for working moms to be tired all.the.time. What if you could flip the script for your life?
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Is your plan in control of your day? Does your plan leave you feeling calm, relaxed and in control? Do you even have a plan? With no fancy planner or a set of flair pens, take control of your day to feel less overwhelm and stress.
You look at your week to make a plan. Everything is important, all of it. You’ve got a looming deadline at work. School supplies need to be purchased. Laundry must be done. Sports practices. What if there’s hope hidden in just four simple steps? Try it. You, even as a working mom, may just find yourself with a bit of extra time this week.
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The decision to work or to quit is less about the reason for making the choice than it is about how the decision is being made. A working mom who wants to change her life by quitting her job has power; when she feels that she must quit her job, she has none. There are steps you can take, work you can do, to put yourself in a position of power.
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Society tells us that motherhood will be the same for all of us: you’ll never eat a warm dinner again for the rest of your life, working will never be the same because you can’t do anything productive with an infant, every day is a repeat of the last, you will become your mother… But what if those truths don’t have to be yours? Do we miss out on some of life’s biggest mom-moments because we’re already sure they’re destined to be bad?
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She dreamed about relaxing. About smiling more. About sitting on the floor and actually playing with her kids, instead of just being in the same room with them while she picked up around them.
But she’d lost the ability to prioritize all the things in her life and she’d fallen into the habit of just doing whatever was in front of her.
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Instead of beating yourself up for “falling behind”. Or fighting to get “caught up” again, you shrug your shoulders and remind yourself that this is life. And especially life as someone with a professional job and kids and a household to manage.
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Memories, adventures, and experiences don’t just happen. With careers, kids, responsibilities, and routines, an entire season can pass you by if you don’t think about what you want to create. A life that you'll remember takes intention, but it doesn’t have to be hard.
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I never used to describe myself as a "fun mom". That just wasn't me.
I was diagnosed with postpartum depression after I had my first baby and I remember worrying that he would turn out to be a serious kid because he rarely saw me smile. And it broke my heart.
I accepted that this was just who I was.
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Why do you work?
If you’re anything like me, that answer has changed over the years, and especially since having kids.
Before I had my son (my first), I worked because it was what you do. I needed to support myself, to pay off loans, to pay for fun things like trips and nights out and new clothes, and to save for bigger future purchases (car, house, etc.).
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Just last week I had a client frustrated with how she was showing up each day. She is super organized and has a great system to track all of the things she needs and wants to do. But when it came to execution, she just wasn't doing it.
She would make a plan for the day, put a realistic number of things on her list, and even add in time to exercise a few times a week. But with the variability of her workdays dealing with patients and the inconsistent sleep habits of her baby, she hadn't considered the idea that not all days are created equal.
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